August 25, 2009

Faith & Hope

Getting ahead in a difficult profession requires avid faith in yourself. That is why some people with mediocre talent, but with great inner drive, go much further than people with vastly superior talent.

-Sopia Loren

There is a sign on a church on the way into town that states, "Hope is praying for rain, Faith is carrying an umbrella." I used to think that hoping for something and having faith in something are one in the same. After thinking on it more over the last few months, a striking difference has occurred to me. I want to thank whoever put that up on the churches billboard.

When we hope for something, it may or may not happen. We tend to make a backup plan in case things go wrong. Not that there is anything particularly wrong with ever having a backup plan. But it means we have explored our own doubts about the outcome of the situation. We have allowed ourselves an out if things don't go the way we want them to.

Putting our full faith in to something takes away any doubt that it will happen. There is no back up plan, no doubt, only the honest, true belief that this outcome will happen. Knowing that something has to be, often gives us more motivation and pushes us farther. Just like love, there is risk, but we put all other cares aside.

So how does this drive us?

When trying to accomplish a goal, going to college, loosing weight, building a business, we have to have some form of hope or faith to get us through difficult situations that come with reaching any goal. Hope can get us so far. We can hope we pass a test, hope we lost weight, we can capture that customer. Hope can get us so far. Hope is like gambling, we could make it/we could not.

To assure success you must have faith that you can do what you put your mind to. You have to push all doubt out of your mind. Write down your goal, visualize yourself accomplishing that goal, make sure that you KNOW that you will succeed.

When you start living with less and less doubt in your life, you will be amazed at what you see. You stand taller, talk with more confidence and are just more at ease with yourself and those around you. When we are more sure of ourselves, the world sees it, likes it and wants to know your why.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

August 19, 2009

Loving Yourself or Abusing Yourself?

Self-love is not opposed to the love of other people. You cannot really love yourself and do yourself a favor without doing people a favor, and vise versa.

-Dr. Karl A. Menninger

Our biggest critic is ourselves. We are taught to try to be perfect, to get everything 'just so', but do we really, really have to have everything together all the time? Too often we run ourselves ragged trying to live up to our perceived expectations and then when we don't meet them we beat ourselves up about it. We must start being happy with what we have done and not be so down on ourselves about what we haven't been able to do, or didn't do well.

Even our language can effect the way we feel about ourselves. If we fail to meet a goal, or stumble off our path we say that we failed. We did not fail, we just didn't quite succeed. We need to brush ourselves off, reassess the situation and move forward. Be proud that we tried. I was in Pilates class yesterday with about 10 other women and the instructor said a wonderful thing, "Don't worry if you cannot complete the moves this time, you are here, that's what counts. You are now better then everyone else out there who isn't even trying."

What a great way to think about life!

If you are trying to build a business and you didn't achieve your goal. Don't worry. At least you are trying. Think about the millions of people out there who are grinding away at a dead end job every day, making no progress at all. You are at least trying. And the more you try, the more you'll succeed. Maybe other people haven't had set-backs in their business, but at least you took the initiative and started your own business! Celebrate your courage and determination, not the parts that are less then successful.

Trying to loose weight is another doosey. If you feel you are falling behind on your health goals, don't worry, just keep at it! There are millions out there who constantly complain about needing to loose weight, but you are doing something about it! Feel fabulous that you are trying, because... the more you try, the more you'll succeed!

Let's see if we can add a little more self-love into our lives. Celebrate all the wonderful things we do. Dismiss those things that don't go right. Get back up and try again... and again! Life is a journey, not a destination.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

August 3, 2009

Accepting Life. No returns, no refunds.

Each one of us is given a life. That life is like a block of wood waiting to be carved. Everything that happens, good and bad, takes a small shaving off. We don't know what we end up with, but must accept the shape that it takes.


When things go terribly, horribly wrong in our lives, we have a habit of asking "Why me?". Knowing that we didn't deserve something this bad to happen. We've done good, we volunteer, we help our neighbors, pay our taxes, so why do bad things happen to good people?

The shaping of character comes from not only the good things in life, but also the bad. But I only know of a hand full of people that will stop when everything is well and ask "Why me?". There's a lot more people out there who only find faith, hope and strength in times of need. Only when in a desperate hour to they call on friends and family. We tend to ignore life when it is good and curse it when it is bad. This all occurred to me about 3 weeks ago listening to the Travis Smiley (i think) show on NPR. I just caught a few moments of it, he had said "At the end of each and every day, we must ask ourselves 'What's the lessin and what's the blessin?'." The 'each day' struck me.

I realized that I had become really good at looking at the not-so-great moments of my life and picking the positive out, then moving on. Finding that diamond in a dung hill and letting the other crap go. But what about my good days? Was I seeking out positive reinforcement on those days? Was I reading my motivational books then? Not really. I was waiting until things started to go awry until I sought out an uplifting message.

This all reverted me back to Deep Practice. We must be thankful at the end of each day. Good and bad. We must practice on our good days to be thankful so that on our bad days it comes to us easier. We need to stop looking to the Heaven's asking "Why me?". We need to look to the Heaven's and say "Thank You." and then look within and say "Why not me?"

When the truly tragic happens, would you be willing to push all that sorrow onto someone else? Would you be willing to crush a complete stranger's life to make your's easier? I thought about these questions for a long, long time. And I say No. Even though I would love to have my friends, family and loved ones back. I would not give up the hurt and sorrow that filled me when they passed. It shaped me. Everything I have ever done has shaped me, and if I gave or pushed out any of the good or the bad things that had happened I wouldn't be me. And that would be a tragedy in and of itself.

Enjoy life, enjoy each other. Accept what you have been given, be thank full for the good and the bad. We should not presume to know what life lessons are in store for us, or how they will shape them. Just know that one step at a time, one breath at a time, we get through this life, together.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming