November 13, 2009

Does It Hurt Enough?

One day when traveling, I walk into an old General Store. You know the kind with wood flooring? There's a dog laying by the counter, groaning. Every few minutes he'd let out a little groan. When I put my items on the counter to pay for it I ask the man there what was wrong with the dog. He stated that the dog was laying on a nail. I asked why he didn't move. The man replied, "It doesn't hurt enough."

I heard this the other day on a Leadership Training CD. The man spoke of how many of us complain about different aspects of our lives, but never do anything about it. How it's because it doesn't hurt enough yet. It's shocking how true this is!

There are things about our lives that we all want to change. Everyone knows by now that I am a self-improvement junkie. It's amusing that there are a lot of people out there who think that only losers and those with low self esteem read self-improvement books. When, in reality, a lot of successful people have a huge library of self-improvement books. It's a matter of being the best you that you can be. Why wait until it hurts to do something about it?

Millions of people complain every day about how much they hate their job, their body, their living situations, etc. Day in and day out they do the same things and then scowl at the results. They never do anything to change it, because change is difficult. It's like voting. I hear tons of people that complain about our political situation, yet only 1/4 of us actually vote. One of the things I ask people when they are on a political rant is if they vote, 3/4 say 'No'. My response is 'If you're not going to participate in the system and try to do something to change it, don't complain.' Just like everything else in life, if you're not doing something to try to change what you dislike about your life, don't complain about it... you're the one making the choices.

Being that ideal vision you have of yourself takes hard work and lots of practice. You can't wake up one morning and decide you are going to run a marathon, 26.5 miles in a day is a LOT of running. You have to train, you have to practice, you have to come up with a fee for participating, you have to have the proper equipment. All this for one little marathon. Think about your personal goal. Break it down. Work on it a little every day. Practice the skills that you need to reach that goal.

Wealth, health and positive attitudes don't appear over night. It just doesn't. We have to step out of our comfort zone and reach for it. Sometimes we don't succeed the first time, but we must keep trying. Keep an open mind, don't listen to the nay-sayers. Don't sit there an let your life hurt you, get up and do something about it. We only have this one life, make it good.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

November 6, 2009

Visualization and Action

I would visualize things coming to me. It would just make me feel better. Visualization works if you work hard. That's the thing. You can't just visualize and go eat a sandwich.
-Jim Carrey

When trying to change your life in any way, using positive affirmations is an incredibly useful tool. I know there are many people who have never heard of this concept so I'll start with a brief explanation:

Positive affirmations is a positive activity that you want to have happen. They are written as if they have already happened. Your affirmations should be read at least once a day, though twice is twice as good. They are especially effective if red before going to bed and again when you first wake up. Mine are written in a card that I carry around with me everywhere. Here are some examples of affirmations for different situations:

For losing weight: I am 130 lb. I am a healthy, fit, energetic person.
For quitting smoking: I am smoke-free. I am breathing better.
For school: I am a college graduate. I am passing all my tests.
For business: I am attracting the right customers to my business. I am attracting wealth in abundance.

If you have any questions about your affirmations, or would like some assistance, you can always contact me and I will be glad to help.

Affirmations must be used in combination with activities to assist in reaching your goals. You cannot repeat 100 times a day that you are going to be healthy and fit, then not exercise and eat fast food 3 times a day. Affirmations are there to push your subconscious mind into creating positive choices through your day.

Just like hypnotherapy and subliminal messaging, without a real drive and personal interest in making changes, affirmations cannot work by themselves. Your day should be punctuated by the positive choices you have made. Celebrate your success and the success of others. Many small steps will construct the journey of your life.

Success Corner: I want to congratulate Terry, Angie and Tammy for their recent positive choice to make a better life for themselves, both financially and health wise. They have done what a lot of people choose not to, they have committed to daily activities to grow a business and live healthy lives. Way to go!

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

November 4, 2009

The Myth of Spare Time

We should use time as a tool, not a crutch.
-John F. Kennedy

How many times do we hear 'in your spare time' over the course of a month? Personally, I get sick of hearing it. 'You can build a business in your spare time.' 'Volunteer in your spare time.' 'What do you do in your spare time?' Spare time? When did we get 25 hours in a day? Did someone add in a Someday to the week? No, no they did not.

Trying to find that time you need to work out, spend time with your kids and/or build a business is a chore in and of itself. There is no way of 'creating' extra time. We only have 24 hours in a day and like most of our paychecks, it's spent before we even get there. So how do we make time?

You have to start by knowing how you spend your time. How much time do you spend doing your hair and putting on make-up in the morning? Picking out clothes? Checking email and following up with your friends on Facebook? There's a lot of little things we spend our time on. Try keeping a log of what you do. You can't really fix anything until you know what is wrong with it. Are there any repetitive tasks that you can group together, like checking your email at lunch so you don't have to spend 45 minutes on it when you get home? Are you waisting time looking at sales ads for things you don't need? Once you actually look at what you spend time on, you can start looking at where to find some. Here are a few tips on finding an extra hour or two in your week:

1. Books on Tape/MP3: Many of us have books to read for school, personal development or training. Many of these are available in audio format. Check the publisher's website or your school's library. It is often cheaper to record books onto audio then to have them printed in braille, so school's pay students to record the books. Listen to the recordings in the car or during your work out to save your reading time for other uses.

2. Many Hands Make Light Work: Is there anything that you can get help on? Give your kids a night that they have to cook, this can save you time and make them feel part of the family. See if your friends want to help on craft projects for the holidays. You can work on it together and get more done, plus you spend time together so there's some time back! Never be afraid to ask for help. Are you doing all the chores? Time to ask your partner to help with some, you shouldn't have to do it all yourself.

3. Hair, Make-Up and Clothes: Talk to a stylist. There are lots of ways to reconfigure your wardrobe so that everything goes together. A little bit of careful shopping at the beginning can save you that 20 minutes of "What am I going to wear today?!". A stylist can also help you simplify your make-up and hair-do. There is no need to go into a two hour hair and make-up session every day before work, do some research on different products and styles. Somewhere in the mix you can find one that can get you out the door in under 45 minutes.

4. Email and Social Networks: Set up filters for your not-quite-junk items. Everything from Facebook goes into it's own folder, Twitter another, Sale alerts in another. It is pretty simple to do, and then when you go to check your email, you don't have to sort through all that junk to see if someone really does need your attention. Same thing with your social networks. Almost all have lists that can be used to sort through which of your friends and family are sharing. By knowing where to go for the updates that you want to look at, you don't waste time on a lot of junk.

5. Games: I am a HUGE fan of games. I love them all. But I do get sucked into them. You start playing around and before you know it an hour and a half has gone by and you can't even remember why you booted up your computer to begin with. Try getting a timer next to your computer. Set a limit and stick to it. (30 min is usually pretty good)

I hope some or all of these can help you find an extra 5-10 hours in your week. We all get going at lighting speed, end up at the end of the day exhausted and not quite sure what we got done. A little bit of foresight, planning and some professional assistance can make the world of difference in how you spend your hours. Because unlike money, once time is spent, we really can't get it back.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

October 28, 2009

Perfection is Not Required

Artists who seek perfection in everything are those who cannot attain it in anything.
-Eugene Delacroix

A look into history you will find that our obsession with perfection is relatively new. Only in the last few centuries has the need for everything to be 'just right' really driven us. The only saying "cleanliness is next to Godliness" comes from centuries of not having running water, fire in the house and a complete void of disinfectants. And yet there were great successes.

Many times I have hesitated or even not completed a task because I thought that I wasn't doing it right or that the results weren't up to par. In sewing I have tossed entire projects because of faults that, looking back, I'm sure only I noticed. Hours of work and materials wasted, all for my need to make something look 'perfect'. Handiwork isn't the only area of our lives where our drive for perfection can distract us from progress.

I speak to a lot of people who are all or nothing. They refuse to make any forward progress because of a hundred different reasons why they can't do something. They are waiting until after the holidays to lose that weight. As soon as football seasons over they will put the time in to build that business. There is always a reason to delay, ways that the timing isn't perfect.

We discount trying. Just getting going and doing something is better then nothing at all. When trying to lose weight, small steps can lead to big results. I started by switching from regular coke to diet coke, then not ordering french fries with meals. Small bits that can be easily maintained and over time lead to a total overhaul of my lifestyle. The weight didn't fall off, but it stayed off. I'm not perfect, sometimes I have fried food, sometimes I have cake. I just consistently work on making good choices and in the end it pays off. It's not perfection, it's progress.

Same goes for a lot of our lives. No one does anything perfect the first time. In many philosophies there is no way to ever do anything perfectly. If there is anything you want to do, you should do it. Let nothing stand in your way. If you're doing it wrong, you'll learn. We learn more from doing something wrong then from doing it right the first time. Don't worry about perfection, keep your eye on success.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

October 23, 2009

The General Joy and Rapture of At-Home Work

I have to say the best and worst thing about working at home is working at home. The daily ability to decide what I’m going to do, when I’m going to do it and how I’m going to do it has been the ultimate freedom that I have enjoyed over the last 5 years. Though there has been many, many days when I really wanted (and sometimes needed) someone to tell me what I needed to do, how to do it and when it needed to be done. This is the fun and frustration of being at home.

I don’t know about you or your life, but I can spend days on end just tending to my family and home. I can get up in the morning, get my son on the bus, go to the gym, tend to my chore list, run errands, fix meals, help with homework, spend a little quality time with my family and end my day feeling like I have worked 16 hours (because I just did!) and never, ever have one second to actually work on my business. I am continually amazed at parents that can keep a family and house in order on top of pulling off a 50 hour work week (they say it’s 40 hours, but we all know we’re ‘at work’ for at least 50). All I have to do to keep myself on track is to think of the commute, the boss and daycare, the trinity of office work nightmares.

One of the other bitter-sweet facts of working at home is that you are home, all the time. There is nothing I love more than being able to put my son on the bus to school and being there when he gets off the bus (other than the days we play hooky and have fun around town together). When he needs me, I am there. I don’t have to call into work, I don’t have to worry about being fired and no-school days don’t make me freak-out about where he’s going to go. On the other hand, I am always home. There are three words that come out of the mouths of friends and family that make me cringe… ‘Are you home?’ I’ve recently taken to saying, ‘Um, I’m at the office.’, this usually gets me at least 10 more minutes of calm before they call back with ‘I thought you worked at home?’. You get called on everything from going out to coffee, to volunteering at the school , to picking up prescriptions. They know your home, therefore you must certainly be available.

All in all, it is a really sweet deal. There days when I would love to pack up my laptop and go into an office where someone else buys the office supplies, takes out the trash and fixes the printer, but the days of sleeping in until 8, not having to ever get in the car and spending extra time with my family outweigh them 25-to-1. Working at home is not as easy as it seems, but can be done with a little organization, prioritizing and boundary setting.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

October 22, 2009

Help the Community to Help Yourself

Without a sense of caring, there can be no sense of community.

-Anthony J. D'Angelo

Being a part of the community (online communities too!) can help boost your sense of worth. Sometimes being a part of something bigger then yourself can give you a larger goal to work towards. Solidifying your place within your own community can take years, but there are some great ways to get started.

Town hall meetings are a great way to meet the most influential and active members of the community. At school, being active in the PTSA. Also look into local clubs, Masons, Eagles, etc. By being around those who already have roots in the community, you learn more about ongoing important local issues. One cup of coffee with a few folks who have been living in your area for ten or more years will give you more information then the local paper. Not only do you get to increase your standing in the community, make new contacts, you get to have fun!

Shopping local is another great way to meet people. Especially in the non-tourist season, mostly local people shop local. Start a conversation with a fellow shopper or the owner (usually the one behind the counter), this can certainly help you get the feel of the community. The economic value is incredible as well. If you shop at a big chain like Wal-Mart, only about 9% of what you spend stays local, by shopping local you can boost that percentage to 50% plus. Not to mention that the money that is spent at a local shop is usually spent local as well. A dollar spent locally gets re-spent 4-8 times.

I'll end with volunteering. The food bank, the school, the library and the local chamber of commerce almost always need volunteers. Helping others always gives me a boost. I think that if more people were helping other people, we wouldn't need so many anti-depressants. Nothing can snap me out of a funk faster then helping someone in need.

Besides the positive effects on yourself all of these activities can lead to a healthier business for you. People that participate in all these activities show a higher leadership potential and usually have more contacts then those who do not. Good for you, good for your business and good for the community!

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

October 21, 2009

We Are The Dreamer Of Dreams

All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.
-T.E. Lawrence

We all dream. We buy a lotto ticket and think of all the things we could do with 200 million. We think of how it would be if all of our troubles just up and vanished. But very, very few of us actually dissect those dreams into manageable chunks.

When my son was around 5 I realized that I didn't want the life that I had. I'd drop him off at daycare around 6:30am and pick him up around 6:30pm. I remember spending hours thinking how nice it would be to have someone take care of us. Just to be able to take him to school and pick him up was something so far out of my reach that I'd stress over it. Then there came the turning point, it started to affect him.

He'd act out in school, then the school would call me and I'd come in. Then he'd start acting out more. I then realized that the hours spent away from me wasn't just a necessary evil, it was harmful. That's when I took action. I started looking at all sorts of ways to work at home. I saw myself being able to get to the school in the middle of the day, I saw myself getting him on the bus, I FELT that this WAS GOING TO HAPPEN! Then a job offer came through and it was working from my home and it was mostly what I was looking for. This was the first time I had used pure determination and positive thinking to make my world better. I have been working from home for 4 years now and it has been one of the best decisions of my life.

Dreaming and hoping are good. They are a fantastic way to feel out what you want in life. I have a dream board. If I want something, I break it down. How much will it cost? What do I have to do to get it? What is a reasonable timeline to set myself to achieve this dream? I get pictures of what I want and I put it on my dream board. I look at that board many times a day. It keeps me motivated on my goals. I KNOW I will get everything on that board, I see myself several times a day driving that RV, smelling the Scottish air, driving that new car. The best feeling in the world is when I go up to that board and take something off of it.

Find the difference between fantasy and dreams. You can reach your dreams. Anyone can, it's just a matter of how.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

August 25, 2009

Faith & Hope

Getting ahead in a difficult profession requires avid faith in yourself. That is why some people with mediocre talent, but with great inner drive, go much further than people with vastly superior talent.

-Sopia Loren

There is a sign on a church on the way into town that states, "Hope is praying for rain, Faith is carrying an umbrella." I used to think that hoping for something and having faith in something are one in the same. After thinking on it more over the last few months, a striking difference has occurred to me. I want to thank whoever put that up on the churches billboard.

When we hope for something, it may or may not happen. We tend to make a backup plan in case things go wrong. Not that there is anything particularly wrong with ever having a backup plan. But it means we have explored our own doubts about the outcome of the situation. We have allowed ourselves an out if things don't go the way we want them to.

Putting our full faith in to something takes away any doubt that it will happen. There is no back up plan, no doubt, only the honest, true belief that this outcome will happen. Knowing that something has to be, often gives us more motivation and pushes us farther. Just like love, there is risk, but we put all other cares aside.

So how does this drive us?

When trying to accomplish a goal, going to college, loosing weight, building a business, we have to have some form of hope or faith to get us through difficult situations that come with reaching any goal. Hope can get us so far. We can hope we pass a test, hope we lost weight, we can capture that customer. Hope can get us so far. Hope is like gambling, we could make it/we could not.

To assure success you must have faith that you can do what you put your mind to. You have to push all doubt out of your mind. Write down your goal, visualize yourself accomplishing that goal, make sure that you KNOW that you will succeed.

When you start living with less and less doubt in your life, you will be amazed at what you see. You stand taller, talk with more confidence and are just more at ease with yourself and those around you. When we are more sure of ourselves, the world sees it, likes it and wants to know your why.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

August 19, 2009

Loving Yourself or Abusing Yourself?

Self-love is not opposed to the love of other people. You cannot really love yourself and do yourself a favor without doing people a favor, and vise versa.

-Dr. Karl A. Menninger

Our biggest critic is ourselves. We are taught to try to be perfect, to get everything 'just so', but do we really, really have to have everything together all the time? Too often we run ourselves ragged trying to live up to our perceived expectations and then when we don't meet them we beat ourselves up about it. We must start being happy with what we have done and not be so down on ourselves about what we haven't been able to do, or didn't do well.

Even our language can effect the way we feel about ourselves. If we fail to meet a goal, or stumble off our path we say that we failed. We did not fail, we just didn't quite succeed. We need to brush ourselves off, reassess the situation and move forward. Be proud that we tried. I was in Pilates class yesterday with about 10 other women and the instructor said a wonderful thing, "Don't worry if you cannot complete the moves this time, you are here, that's what counts. You are now better then everyone else out there who isn't even trying."

What a great way to think about life!

If you are trying to build a business and you didn't achieve your goal. Don't worry. At least you are trying. Think about the millions of people out there who are grinding away at a dead end job every day, making no progress at all. You are at least trying. And the more you try, the more you'll succeed. Maybe other people haven't had set-backs in their business, but at least you took the initiative and started your own business! Celebrate your courage and determination, not the parts that are less then successful.

Trying to loose weight is another doosey. If you feel you are falling behind on your health goals, don't worry, just keep at it! There are millions out there who constantly complain about needing to loose weight, but you are doing something about it! Feel fabulous that you are trying, because... the more you try, the more you'll succeed!

Let's see if we can add a little more self-love into our lives. Celebrate all the wonderful things we do. Dismiss those things that don't go right. Get back up and try again... and again! Life is a journey, not a destination.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

August 3, 2009

Accepting Life. No returns, no refunds.

Each one of us is given a life. That life is like a block of wood waiting to be carved. Everything that happens, good and bad, takes a small shaving off. We don't know what we end up with, but must accept the shape that it takes.


When things go terribly, horribly wrong in our lives, we have a habit of asking "Why me?". Knowing that we didn't deserve something this bad to happen. We've done good, we volunteer, we help our neighbors, pay our taxes, so why do bad things happen to good people?

The shaping of character comes from not only the good things in life, but also the bad. But I only know of a hand full of people that will stop when everything is well and ask "Why me?". There's a lot more people out there who only find faith, hope and strength in times of need. Only when in a desperate hour to they call on friends and family. We tend to ignore life when it is good and curse it when it is bad. This all occurred to me about 3 weeks ago listening to the Travis Smiley (i think) show on NPR. I just caught a few moments of it, he had said "At the end of each and every day, we must ask ourselves 'What's the lessin and what's the blessin?'." The 'each day' struck me.

I realized that I had become really good at looking at the not-so-great moments of my life and picking the positive out, then moving on. Finding that diamond in a dung hill and letting the other crap go. But what about my good days? Was I seeking out positive reinforcement on those days? Was I reading my motivational books then? Not really. I was waiting until things started to go awry until I sought out an uplifting message.

This all reverted me back to Deep Practice. We must be thankful at the end of each day. Good and bad. We must practice on our good days to be thankful so that on our bad days it comes to us easier. We need to stop looking to the Heaven's asking "Why me?". We need to look to the Heaven's and say "Thank You." and then look within and say "Why not me?"

When the truly tragic happens, would you be willing to push all that sorrow onto someone else? Would you be willing to crush a complete stranger's life to make your's easier? I thought about these questions for a long, long time. And I say No. Even though I would love to have my friends, family and loved ones back. I would not give up the hurt and sorrow that filled me when they passed. It shaped me. Everything I have ever done has shaped me, and if I gave or pushed out any of the good or the bad things that had happened I wouldn't be me. And that would be a tragedy in and of itself.

Enjoy life, enjoy each other. Accept what you have been given, be thank full for the good and the bad. We should not presume to know what life lessons are in store for us, or how they will shape them. Just know that one step at a time, one breath at a time, we get through this life, together.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

July 31, 2009

Back From Vacation.

To love what you do and feel that it matters- how could anything be more fun?

-Katharin Graham

I am refreshed and back from vacation. I know I've said on here how important it is to not only spend quality time with your family, but quality time with yourself. I had such an amazing 8 days off. 4 of which were spent with my best friend and 4 days with my son. I just had a blast. No worries in the world.

There's a lot of you out there that can't possibly take a multiple day vacation, so today I'm dedicating to the mini-vacation and stay-cations. It is so important to your soul and well being to have fun, that I think everyone should attend a class on enjoying life. I'm going to share some great ways that we have made a fun injection into our over-worked, stressed-out lives.

First close your eyes and think of a time where you were so happy your face hurt, or maybe you laughed until you cried. When I did this I thought of many years ago when my best friend and I went camping together with some friends and how terribly much fun we had. I called her up that same day and told her we HAD to do that again. So we set up a time and nothing, NOTHING, got in our way of going.

There was also a time when we were sitting around talking about how much fun we used to have on Saturday mornings. We would wake up before our parents and build a little fort in the living room, eat Captain Crunch and watch Gummy Bears, Smurfs and He-Man. We got a good laugh out of reminiscing about our childhood, but it got me to thinking. So I went down to the library, found Smurfs, Fraggle Rock and (as much as I hate to confess) I already had He-Man on tape. So I woke up really early, made chocolate chip pancakes, woke up my son and made a fort in the living room with our old sheets. We giggled and watched my old time favorite cartoons. Talk about a boost to the week. I giggled about that for a month.

A stay-cation is another great way of getting your family together. It can be one day or a weekend. Google recreation in your local area and pick a few things that your family can do together. A few months ago I had an appointment in Anacortes, it's only an hour away, but I packed us all up. When the appointment was done, we scooted over to the Deception Pass Bridge and out to Oak Harbor. It wasn't much, just a little hiking and walking along the beach. But taking time out of your busy schedule for the ones you love makes the biggest difference.

We all want more money, time and nicer things, it's only natural. The most valuable thing we have is Time and we absolutely must share it with others. Spend it wisely and splurge it on those you love, it turns out for the best in the end.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

July 21, 2009

You Got to MOVE IT!

To will is to select a goal, determine a course of action that will bring one to that goal and then hold to that action till the goal is reached. The key is action.
-Michael Hason

Our whole life is made up of actions, big and small. Even sleeping and doing nothing are actions. What we need in our lives is more purposeful actions. Along your day stop and ask yourself what this action is doing to help you reach your goals.

If you goal is to spend more time with your family and you see yourself playing on a computer or agreeing to work an extra shift. Stop. Redirect your action to something more productive to spending time with your family. If you are working that extra shift, take some of that extra money to save for a family outing. If you are playing on the computer, ask yourself if making that extra level will really satisfy you, or will reading your kids a story?

In business success, we often spin our wheels on menial tasks. Spending 45 minutes check email, then rechecking email, then checking our other email. It may be more effective for you to make a phone call instead of replying to an email. Even though typing and hitting send may only take a minute and the phone call may take 5, you are getting through to that person more effectively. Creating a positive bond between you and that individual. And we all crave connections.

Just think about what you are doing, or not doing, and try to redirect some of those actions to your goals. Success is the some of small actions, done day in and day out.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

July 17, 2009

Deep Practice

To be able under all circumstances to practice five things constitutes perfect virtue; these five things are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness and kindness.

-Confucius (551BC - 479BC)

Out of every class or book we read, no matter how bad, we can find one or two gems of information and/or wisdom. No matter who we talk to there is always something new we can learn from them . One of my favorites for the week is the term 'Deep Practice'. Here in the West if we know the basics of how to do something, we know it. In the East, we don't know something until we know how to do it right. With Eastern Philosophy we would spend lots of time doing the same task over and over again, just to say we know how to do it. This is what Deep Practice refers to.

We too often think of things to practice as physical acts. We practice our music, sports and crafts. But how often do we practice ways of thinking or reacting? Positive thought and positive actions cannot just be something we idly strive towards or tentatively know. We must practice them day in and day out until it becomes part of us. Deep Practice.

You can set up goals for your new positive mindset. Try going an hour without saying or thinking anything negative about anyone else or yourself. Make it to and from a destination without insulting a fellow driver. Set aside time each day to re-affirm the positive things about yourself. You must set aside time to practice your positive lifestyle. The more you practice, the better you will be.

Same goes for your small business. We aren't born with the ability to talk or walk, we practice. So why do so many think that the second we sign up for a home business we become great entrepreneurs. We have to practice it. We must practice our pitch, we must review and learn about our products, we must learn how to approach people, how to set up our demo, etc, etc. Most people have a curve of 6m -12m. A curve being the amount of time it takes you to become proficient in your business. Expect poor results the first 6 months, better results after the first 12 and then you should hit your stride in your 2nd year. This is true about all businesses. Home based and brick and mortar. Expect to loose money your first 2 years. Anything better then that and you ROCK!

Listen to your mother, "Practice makes perfect". Use it for your whole life. Loosing weight, being a good friend, positive thinking and work. The more you work on improving yourself the better you will be.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

July 16, 2009


You don't need to outdo the competition. It's expensive and defensive. Underdo your competition. We need more simplicity and clarity.
-Jason Fried

We all tend to over-complicate our lives. Even taking a shower can be a complex string of choices and options. Do I scrub, wash or exfoliate? Is my hair in need of volume, shine or deep cleansing? Does my skin need more moisture or anti-aging? And that's just the first 15 minutes of our day. Everything has become a complicated with so many options, it can make your head spin.

We need to be less harsh on ourselves and simplify. There is no way of turning back the clock to simpler times, so we must cope with what we have. By simplifying and changing the way we react to stress, our lives can become more livable.

Over-Committed. I find myself in this situation more often then not. We must learn to say No. Do one project at a time. If you haven't finished that basket for the fundraiser on Friday, don't agree to have another one ready by Monday (unless baskets is your business and then go for it!). When your trying to find time to squeeze in a hike for a Scout group, don't agree to host a party the same week. We want to be helpful, make people happy, but too often we sacrifice our happiness for the good of others. Try what you can to do one thing at a time, you'll thank yourself later.

Under-Paid. We often don't get paid what we are worth. We get stuck in a job that we can stand, but as the cost of living goes up, our pay doesn't. And when we actually do get a raise, it's never quite enough. There are several ways to try and cope with this. Don't be afraid to ask for a raise. There has been plenty of times when someone is complaining how they haven't had a raise in years, but never asked. Leave your options open. Don't accept that just because things have always been one way, they will always be that way. Do a search every couple of months to see what else is out there. And if there is an opening for what you do and the pay is higher, go for it. Turn your hobbies into money. There are lots of services that people are willing to pay for. If you quilt, start letting people know that you teach classes, or create patterns to sell online. Work on cars? A little back yard wrench slinging can pull in some cash. Like books? There are ample opportunities to buy and resell books. Two for one, you get to shop then you get to sell!

Not Appreciated. We don't get thanked for a lot of things we do. Start patting your own back! make sure you take time each week to award yourself for all that you do!

Over-Worked. Business owners and the working person both have this problem. We want to get more done then our competitors, make sure we get that raise. So we add more hours to our work week. We need to work effectively and we can't be effective if we are run down. We skip our breaks, lunch and then stay an hour or two later. Even if you feel that you get more done in that extra hour then you've gotten done all day, chances are you'd get more done within that 8 hours if you had some time during the day to refresh yourself. Take a break. 15 minutes of stretching or a brisk walk not only will help you feel energized, but will add a better boost to your day then an extra espresso. Quit at quitting time. At least twice a week, stop working when you are supposed to. That extra hour or two will add much more ease to your life and boost your work then the little extra money you would have earned working late.

Just take a look at all you are doing, be proud of what you accomplish. Take time for you and your family to increase your relaxation and inner happiness. See what you can cut out of your life if you are over-committed. Above all, don't take any of it too seriously, life is temporary after all!

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

July 15, 2009


The first step to getting the tings you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.

-Ben Stein

Everyday we make hundreds of decisions. Some we are so well trained to do, we don't really think about them. We choose to get out of bed, eat breakfast, go to work, what we wear, what route to take, etc., etc, etc.

Some will say, 'But you don't choose to eat, you have to eat.' not true. You don't have to eat, ask Ghandi. But if you don't eat, you die. So congratulations, you chose life! On a less dramatic scale you do get to choose what to eat. You can have a hamburger, or you can have a chicken burger. We have to rethink how we think to make changes and changes start with choices.

If you are one of the millions of people who have found themselves let-go from your place of work and are reading this. I know you are thinking that you didn't choose to get fired or laid off. Using our ability to choose is a way to react to other people's choices as well. You don't have a job, that is a fact, you cannot make your boss change their mind, so move on. You can choose to sit around and feel sorry for yourself. You can go out and apply for a few jobs a day and that's that. OR you can make active choices to regain employment. OR start your own business. We all have a skill set. Big or small. They can all be used to our advantage or disadvantage. You can clean? Send out and email and call around to see if anyone needs help cleaning their house or garage. It may not be much money, but money is money. Use your skills to earn extra $$$ while waiting for a job to come along. Doing something is better then doing nothing.

For those who are looking for a job, here are some tips:

*Keep a written record of where you have applied
*Make sure you keep track of who you've contacted at potential employers
*Follow up at least once a week, by phone, on those applications
*Make sure you know the name of who will make the decision to hire you
*Be well informed about the company going into your interview
*Try to get information on who is interviewing you (google them)
*Follow up with a Thank You Card or Handwritten Note
*Follow up by phone once a week until you get a yes or no answer
*Repeat as often as you can until you get a job.

For those who are sick of looking for a job and want long term security:

*Call or email me, I can help you find or build a business that will put YOU in charge.

Just remember today that life is all about choices. You can choose life, love, healthiness and happiness. We choose how to react to situations. We choose what to put into our bodies. We choose to spend time with our family. Use your choices wisely.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

July 14, 2009


You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough.
-Frank Crane

In this day and age, and maybe in every other day and age (I lack the personal experience to speak on other days and ages), trust is a rare thing. I hear quite often how someone "doesn't trust anyone" or "doesn't trust anyone they don't know". This makes me smile. Doing research to verify what someone is telling you is one thing, not trusting anyone is another. If you are a person who prides themselves on not trusting people, you should probably stop reading here.

You trust people every day, you trust people you never have, nor probably never will, meet in person. 'I DO NOT!', you say? Well, if you leave your house, use electricity in your house or turn your water on you do. We trust that the people driving behind us will hit their brakes and not hit us. We trust that the person driving next to us will stay in their lane. We trust that the power company employees will go to work today. We trust in the person who made the food we are eating (even the person who fills the Mac N Cheese box!). There is an entire army of people who we trust every day to do the right thing, get their job done right and have common courtesy. Think on this one, the first few times I realized this, I was really, REALLY, nervous driving home.

This is a great story about a professional golfer, I cannot recall from what era or what his name is, but it's a great story:

He had been on the professional circuit for about 2 years. He was having a remarkable game one day and actually took 1st place. But because of an error by his caddy, a mis-add that would have actually improved his score, he was disqualified. An error in scoring is an error in scoring, good or bad, and is an immediate disqualification. He was not mad, caddy didn't get fired, he simply said "We all make mistakes and I still had the best game of my career, even if it didn't count for winning."

Two weeks later he beat his best game and won $15,000. Being very proud of himself, he took his time washing up and getting changed. Just really enjoying the moment. As he was walking to his car a young, disheveled woman came up to him... She had no money, no job, her baby was sick, dieing in the hospital, she couldn't pay the medical bills and she was about to loose their car and their apartment. Could he please help? Without a second though, he sighed the $15,000 check over to her.

The next day one of his friends who had seen the interaction, informed him that she was a con artist. She had stolen from him. There was no sick baby, just a greedy woman. "Your kidding?" he asked. "That's the best news I've heard all day. There's no sick baby. I was up all night worrying about a poor child in the hospital."

You see sometimes when you focus on all the bad things that people do and have to offer, you miss out on some of the really great stuff. You stress yourself out, become suspicious and may loose out on great things that can come your way. The way the golfer reacted is amazing, completely ignoring the wrong that was done to him, relishing in the positive of what happened. In his world, there is now one less sick child. Fabulous!

I'm not saying that you should put your trust in everyone that you meed. Just to be a little less distrustful. Give a dollar to that homeless guy, does it really matter if he spends it on food or booze, that's going to be HIS conversation with his maker, not yours. Yours will be of kindness. Donate to charity that comes to your door. Sure, it may be a scheme, but in the long run $5 won't make or break you. But it can be a meal or help that someone else really, really needs. Lets work together to make this world a better place. One blind kindness at a time.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

July 12, 2009

Network Marketing and MLMs

I am working full time on my income and part time on my fortune.

-Jim Rohn

My deepest apologies for missing Friday's blog. I was so very busy I don't think I slowed down until 3pm on Sunday. I thought to make up for it, I'd give you a bonus business round.

Above is one of my favorite quotes for Network Marketers. Multi-Level Network Marketing businesses has opened up the door to financial success to anyone who puts forth the effort to work for it. We can work part time on a residual, secure income without giving up the day job (or night job) that pays the bills. But many of these businesses are often scoffed at by many. I'm here today to reconcile a few misconceptions of MLMs.

The pay structure often takes the form of a pyramid, but it is not, not, NOT a pyramid scheme. A pyramid scheme is defined as " a non-sustainable business model that involves the exchange of money primarily for enrolling other people into the scheme, often without any product or service being delivered" Pyramid schemes are illegal and are usually busted within the first few months of being started. MLMs are legitimate companies offering legitimate products.

Having cleared that up the next issue I hear a lot about is that Network Marketers have to constantly hound their friends and family to join their company. Not true. If you like a product or service you sometimes will tell your friends and family about it. Ever recommend a shampoo, restaurant or household cleaner? That is exactly what they are trying to do, only they get paid if you act on their recommendation. They have found a product that they really enjoy and believe in. They primarily want to share a product with you and secondly want to share a way for you to make money, too. All that they ask is for you to give them a little bit of your time to listen and then if you are interested to let them know. How would you like it if your best friend found a way to make an extra $500 a month by working 5 hours a week, and didn't share it with you? How about if they ended up making $1000 or $5000? You would be upset. All I ask of you is to listen, you never know what opportunity may pop up!

Now onto the fun parts. We all know how a regular job works. You get paid X amount of work for X amount of hours. Period. You work, you get paid, you don't work, you don't get paid. Jobs are a secure source of income. You could own a traditional business and offer a goods or services. You make X amount of money for X goods or X amount of service. Once an item or service is sold, you get paid and that's the end. With MLM's you usually get paid X amount for selling goods or services that are needed on a regular basis, then you get paid Y amount for items or services that are used throughout the year. Amount Y will grow and grow as you sell more of the initial item or service.

It's like if I asked you to work 10 hours a week for $1 and hour. Then for each week you work I will pay you $1 a week forever, and I'll compound it (1st month $1, 2nd month $2, etc). I'll even give you a raise, after the first year I'll give you $2 each week, $3 for your third year. and so forth. At the end of the first year you would be making $92, 2nd year would be $144, 5 years $768, 10 years $3316. You are still only working 10 hours a week, but now you are earning $3316 a month, best of all, when you stop working you will still get a check each month for $3276. That is the wonder of residual income and building income levels. You may have to work for next to nothing for the first few years, but when you apply yourself consistently over time, you can yield great, long term results.

Going back to my favorite quote, there are many, many reasons for dedicating some of your time each week to building a solid residual income, taxes, security, independence. Everyone has their own reasons. There is hardly anything that you currently use and enjoy that you can't build a business with coffee (, non-toxic home products ( ), personal fitness ( , scrap booking, make-up, etc. You should find something that you really believe in and enjoy, then go for it! Nothing beats having the money and freedom to pursue your dreams.

You can always contact me and we can talk about what your strengths and interests are, if I can't help you, I can point you in the right direction.

Thanks for listening and....

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

July 9, 2009


Let us make one point, that we meet each other with a smile, when it is difficult to smile. Smile at each other, make time for each other in your family.

-Mother Teresa

There are many places in life that you cannot get to without a smile. Namely, people's hearts and minds. I picked up a saying awhile back, 'Smile when you feel like frowning, laugh when you feel like crying.'. I'm not sure who I picked it up from, but it helps. In our down and out moments doing the opposite of what we feel like can do a world of good.

Smiles are also contagious. You will open more doors in life with a sincere smile and looking people in the eyes, then you can being cleaver. I am reminded of a story I heard about Mrs. Gretchen and Mrs. Smith.

Mrs. Gretchen and Mrs. Smith went to the same church and attended the ladies brunch together on the first Saturday of the month. Mrs. Smith never took a liking to Mrs. Gretchen, and didn't know why. She would smile at her, and Mrs. Gretchen would scowl back. She would ask her how her week went, Mrs. Gretchen would give short answers with a nasty tone that made Mrs. Smith feel sorry for even asking. And so after a while Mrs. Smith just accepted the fact that Mrs. Gretchen didn't like her. And that's the way it went for a long time.

Then one day Mrs. Smith got to thinking about it again, and it made her sad and angry. Sad that they didn't like each other and angry that Mrs. Gretchen never gave her a chance. So Mrs. Smith started taking ingredients out of her cupboards. She mixed up the dough for the pie crust, thinking about all the times she had smiled at Mrs. Gretchen and not gotten a smile back. She boiled the pudding on the stove thinking about how they always seem to sit at different tables during brunch. She whipped up the meringue thinking how she always set so far away from Mrs. Gretchen during church. Then when her perfect lemon meringue pie was done, she looked down at her feet and said "OK, start walking."

With her stomach in knots, she started down the street. Wanting a million times to turn around and go home, she crossed the tracks. Then she looked around at this run down neighborhood. No color, no kids playing, no sprinklers, all browns and greys. And she felt a little sad. Feeling about faint, she knocked on Mrs. Gretchen's door. "What do you want?!" was the answer she got. "I made you a pie and would like to share a piece with you." Mrs. Smith replied. They went in and shared that pie, and coffee, and it wasn't that they miraculously got along from that day to this, but it slowly got better. And now they are friends, not best friends, but friends nonetheless.

It's not a miracle to be nice to people, but it can be difficult. Smile. Smile. Smile. It will help. And when it seems that someone hates you and you feel like hating them in return. Do something extra nice for them. You may not be best friends after that. But it will lessen the anger and after a while, the anger will be gone.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

July 8, 2009

Loosing Weight

Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.

-Reggie Leach

In the last year I've gone from 225 to 175 (now back up to 185, stupid not smoking). That's not hype or photo-shopped pictures. That's 12 months of eating light yogurt instead of ice cream, working out instead of going to the movies, being sore and really enjoying working towards a goal.

We are bombarded day in and day out with the possibilities of miracles. Are we living in a magical new world? Can money and a few pills solve our problems? Are there more miracles today, or are we just broadcasting them more? All good questions to ask. I believe in miracles, absolutely. I believe in faith, love and human determination. All this helped push me through that 50 pounds and will continue pushing me through the next 25.

I have listened to a lot of people tell me that they've tried everything to loose weight... then proceeded to tell me that they ate the double whopper at Burger King (but held the cheese!). There are many, many factors in loosing weight, and not every program works for everyone. I chose simple. Diet and exercise. I watch my portions, eat WLF (whole grain, lean meats and fresh foods) and work out like a maniac (4-7x a week between 20min-2hrs). Not everyone can afford the money and time it takes to do this, but you can implement some changes.

Try the +10 a week. Start with 10 push ups, sit ups, dips, jumping jacks, squats, lunges and planks (all three hold for 10 seconds). Then the next week add 10, 20 push ups, sit ups, dips, etc. Do them M-W-F right before your shower, then add in a Tues. or a Saturday. Pretty soon you'll be doing it everyday. Promise yourself that whatever changes you want to commit for a year. If at 2 months, 6 months, 8 months you're not 'feeling' it, keep going. Take a photo of yourself today then look at another one (in the same clothes) in a year. You'll see a difference if you commit to yourself!

This way of acting and committing works for all aspects of life. If you commit a little bit of time every day to reaching a goal, you will. But it's not easy, it's not fast and it's not painless. Everything worth having is worth working for. Commit to YOU!

If you need a personal coach at an affordable rate, let me know. I can direct you to a few, just drop me an email.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

July 7, 2009

Shooda, Cooda, Wooda Sisters

Acceptance doesn't mean that you have to agree with something and like how it is. Acceptance simply means that you accept how it is and make peace with it.

-Mike Robbins

I'm not exactly sure when I heard the story, but it has stuck with me for years and held true... DON'T SPEND TIME WITH THE SHOODA, COODA, WOODA SISTERS!!

The Shooda sister always should have done something. I should have left five minutes earlier, I wouldn't have gotten stuck in traffic [you may have missed traffic but you may have ended up in the accident also]. .I should have called Mary first, then she wouldn't have signed up with Ken. [when we don't want to do something, and it turned out to be the right thing, we can be too hard on ourselves] I should get up earlier to get a head start on the day [don't just say you're going to do something, do it] Shooda constantly focuses in on what she 'should have' done instead of what she can and is doing. She is poor company.

The Cooda sister always could have done something. I could have taken I-90 and saved myself the hour wait [but you didn't and waisted an hour whining about it]. I could have done a better report, then I would have that raise [but you sped through yours to get of work an hour early to see your kids play]. I could have made that call, but I didn't want to get stuck on the phone while I was making dinner [excuses!] . Cooda constantly focuses on what she 'could have' done making excuses and beating herself up about her priorities. Being in her company makes you feel guilty.

The Wooda sister always would have done something, her stars never quite align right. I would have taken I-5, but it looked too crowded. [looks can be deceiving] I would have stayed late to finish it, but I didn't think the boss would be in early. [it's only cheating if you get caught?] I would have called Suzy, if I had known that she was looking for a home based business [never know until you ask]. Wooda constantly sees a better way that she 'would have' done something if something else wasn't there, if something else wasn't going on, if there was something she would have known. Too much hanging with Wooda and you may be upset or depressed, but at least it won't ever be your fault.

We have all spent at least a little bit of time (some of us a lot of time) with one or all three of the sisters. We need to not beat ourselves up, make excuses for or deflect the reasons why we make the choices we make. If something is not working, take a closer look at what you did, and do it better next time.

Accept that what has happened, happened. Accept that you had a part (big or small) in the events that happened. Identify what created the good results (or the bad). Learn from them, repeat the good, change the bad. AND MOVE FORWARD!

Only dedicate a small part of your day to this, maybe 15-30 minutes at the end of your day. Focus on the good things that happened, not the bad. And know that tomorrow you'll add another tool to your mental toolbox for positive results!

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

July 3, 2009


"Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb."

-Sir Winston Churchill

This wonderful thought occurred to me yesterday. We tend to see ourselves and others as either a success or failure. We accomplish or fail. There is this whole entire grey area between failure and success that we call life. We should find a different yard stick to measure ourselves by. Lets put aside bank accounts, cars and clothes. Lets look at our lives, that grey area. Are you happy? Are those around you happy? Do you have that special someone? Do you have friends? How's your extended family? Think about it. Give yourself a pat on the back if you had a positive answer and reaction to all the questions... heck... if you have 3 out of 5 you're doing good.

The point is not that we don't need money and the like to be successful, the point is that the small efforts we make to ensure personal, family and relationships succeed are the same set of skills used to be a success in business. If you know how to listen, when to have which emotional reaction, can give advise when needed and are pleasant to be around, more people will flock to you and your business.

Lets take listening as an example, verbal and non-verbal. When your wife [or husband] is telling you how their day went, do you smile and nod or listen? If you can't actually remember how your significant other's day went yesterday, you were just going along with the conversation, and not really listening. Mind what they are saying, try to take mental notes [write them down when you are done if you tend to forget things easily] look at how they are standing, keep eye contact. Does it look like there is something else they want to say? Do they look like they want a response from you? Are the just venting? Now, the next day try and recall how their day was. Check your notes. Try doing this activity 2-5 times a week. If you don't have a significant other, try it with a friend or roommate.

How does this pertain to business? Listen, listen, LISTEN!! To co-workers, management, clients, bartenders, whomever. You never know when your next jewel of information will come to you. For example, with Send Out Cards, I use the Internet to send a physical card through the postal service, with a first class stamp. Did you know that the postal service was going to cut back a day of delivery because of lack of mail? [not a joke or plug ] I now feel that sending cards is patriotic. I want to support my postal service. How did I learn about this spin to my business? Listening to a conversation in line at Albertsons.

Listening will also get you more customers. I know people who will drive an extra 45 minutes to go to a dentist because they see him as a part of their extended family. And how does he do it? He has trained himself and all the staff to take notes of the small talk that they have (names of dogs, ages of children, painting the house, buying a new car, etc.). Then the next time they come in, or when he send them their birthday card, he can add in a personal note ie. How is the new puppy? I hope your enjoying the new car! How was Cindy's 9th birthday? Amazing! How to stay above the game!

Try and remember to listen and pay attention to your loved ones. A truly loving, compassionate companion is not only a hit with their family and friends. But the positive energy and uplift you'll start radiating will attract others to you creating a influx of customers.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

July 2, 2009

Death, Life and Change

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

-W.H. Auden

As much as I would like to take yesterday and erase it, it would do no good. With life comes death. With death comes rebirth. It is not good or bad, it is just change. We can weep for our loss of those we love and rejoice in the memories of those who touched our lives. At 10pm on June 30th, Ethan Iverson, Age 8 passed away. He had been fighting cancer for a year. It is tragic when anyone passes, especially when it is one so young. We can all have faith that he is in a place without pain where he can just be a kid again. He was loved in life and will be missed.

Out of the ashes of this loss comes an amazing sense of community and mutual love. I watched dozens of police officers go by all morning long and well into the afternoon to pay their respects to the family. I watched many families pull together to provide support to the Iverson Family. Our local community and business owners are fantastic. Never before have I seen so many come together in such a short time for a common cause. Thank you to each and every individual who showed up, participated in, donated and supported all of the fundraisers. You all deserve a standing ovation.

I can also hope that the love and gratitude showed towards our children will continue. There was an atmosphere of clinging to our healthy children and thanking God that we have them. Spending more time with our families, thankful just to be with them. As sad as it is that it takes a situation like this one to bring out this kind of love, I have faith that it will continue.

Please take time today to show your love and appreciation to each other. I know that I say it a lot, because it needs to be said. Don't wait until it is too late... love one another unabashedly, life is too short for regrets.

Let me come in where you are weeping, friend,
and let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorry such as yours,
can understand.
Let me come in-I would be very still
beside you in your grief.
I would not bid you cease your weeping, Friend;
tears bring relief.
Let me come in-I would only breathe a prayer,
and hold your hand.
For I have known a sorrow such as yours,
and understand.
-Grace Noll Crowell

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

July 1, 2009

Moderation in Moderation

There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.
-Mark Twain

In general we all know what is good for us and what is bad for us. However, there are still times when I watch the news and have a 'I didn't know that was bad for me.' moment. There are those who enjoy a raw-organic-locally-grown diet, and for those who enjoy it, I give you massive props and an applause. There are the rest of us who enjoy sugar, caffeine, fried foods and the occasional pastry.

I am guilty of enjoying lots of things that aren't exactly the best for me. I recall when I first had my lifestyle change standing in Albertsons, looking at this glorious cream puff in their bakery case. I stared, and stared, and stared. I really, really wanted to eat it, I also really, really, really didn't want to eat it. I ended up not getting it. Does that mean I never ate a cream puff again? Heck no way. I make them. Whole grain, splenda to sweeten the cream with dark chocolate drizzled on top. it's 20% of the calories that was in the Albertsons cream puff and has some good for me stuff in it too.

Depriving ourselves of things we truly enjoy, makes us enjoy life less. I am not talking about things that we are addicted to (smoking, drinking, drugs, caffeine, fat, sugar, etc), I am talking about things that we enjoy that we don't allow ourselves to have. I have found lots of substitutions for things I really like. Oven fried chicken instead of pan fried chicken; Olive oil seasoned and baked potato wedges instead of french fries, turkey dogs, turkey brats, turkey bacon. But with all this substitution I still miss the 'real' thing. So on occasion, when I have done something really good, I reward myself... Breakfast with fried hash browns, pork bacon, fried eggs and regular pancakes (oh, my!) or Steak and a Baked Potato (with extra butter).

So don't let yourself miss out on all of lives pleasures. Find alternate ways to enjoy what you like. Indulge on occasion (mind your portions!). And above all, find a balance of happy and healthy.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

June 30, 2009

Getting Back Up

"If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. what we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down."

-Mary Pickford

It seems as though when we have a goal, that we go sprinting towards it. The freshness and all the ideas of how to reach that goal keeps our momentum at a lightening pace. But, inevitably, something does not work. Something creates a speed bump in the road and we have to slow down. Money, people, timing, location, materials, it is always something. The road to success is littered in failure. Tons of it. Little failures and big failures. Thomas Edison found hundreds (if not thousands) of ways to not create a light bulb ... and one way to make a light bulb. Where would we be if one of those hundreds of bumps of failure on Thomas Edison's path to success had been the one that made him stay down? The one that made him throw his hands up in the air and be done with the whole project?

Everyone struggles towards success, it is part of life. I have found many ways not to do things. I have found dozens of ways to not loose weight, 6 ways to not quit smoking, 1 way to not stay married, several ways to not be a good parent, 8 ways to not make money, many ways to be a bad friend and I could keep going. But I went past a lot of those failures... I push through a lot of current failures, to find what works. Wade through disaster to the hill of success. I found a way to loose weight (50lb so far), I found a way to quit smoking (2 weeks now!), I work constantly at being a good mom, friend and daughter.

We all must accept the fact that we will fall, and that those around us will fall. We must focus on picking ourselves up, being a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen so that we can help others up as well. Every day IS a new day. Cling onto hope and determination as your spiritual life preservers. And never, ever, ever stop dreaming.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

June 26, 2009

Choice and Chance

Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.

-William Jennings Bryan

Hope springs eternal. Very true. It is easier to hold onto your hope when your dreams and decisions are free to roam. Allowing yourself full freedom accepting choices and a dash of chance will help your hope bloom.

Imagine taking full responsibility for your life. The good and the bad. "I am where I am because of the choices I have made." Fully in charge of your life. A great thing to repeat to yourself over and over again to help improve your future: "I am making positive and productive choices in my life" The action plan to join with the positive affirmation is to try and make choices for the better. And it is not always easy, 'the path to hell is paved with good intentions' comes to mind. Sometimes making the best choice isn't the easiest choice.

Let me introduce you to a friend of mine. She can be incredibly independent, self-sufficient and an inspiration. BUT... not when it comes to her choice in partners. Jumping from one to another, getting increasingly upset as the relationships fail. Putting all of her hope in to one person, and inevitably that person fails at their quest to make her whole. Now we have talked about how no one can make her whole [just as no one can make me whole or make you whole], that you must feel complete inside before a relationship, otherwise you either expect too much of that person, or start projecting your emptiness onto them. A lot of our conversations ended up with her saying a lot of "I can't..." "I can't..." "I can't..." and "Why does this always happen to me?" After many conversations I had to tell her that I love her. I love her enough to do what's right for her, and not help her. No more walking her through her own life, no more helping hands, no more sympathy for her own choices. That I love her enough to make her do this on her own, because she needs to. Now this story has not come to an end. Each of us comes to our own in our own time.

You have the freedom to take control of your life, to make choices on how you react to situations, how you react to people and how you handle difficulties. No one can make you do anything, but sometimes the hardest part is making yourself do something. And we all falter sometimes. The key is to pick yourself up and try again. And again.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming