June 30, 2009

Getting Back Up

"If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. what we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down."

-Mary Pickford

It seems as though when we have a goal, that we go sprinting towards it. The freshness and all the ideas of how to reach that goal keeps our momentum at a lightening pace. But, inevitably, something does not work. Something creates a speed bump in the road and we have to slow down. Money, people, timing, location, materials, it is always something. The road to success is littered in failure. Tons of it. Little failures and big failures. Thomas Edison found hundreds (if not thousands) of ways to not create a light bulb ... and one way to make a light bulb. Where would we be if one of those hundreds of bumps of failure on Thomas Edison's path to success had been the one that made him stay down? The one that made him throw his hands up in the air and be done with the whole project?

Everyone struggles towards success, it is part of life. I have found many ways not to do things. I have found dozens of ways to not loose weight, 6 ways to not quit smoking, 1 way to not stay married, several ways to not be a good parent, 8 ways to not make money, many ways to be a bad friend and I could keep going. But I went past a lot of those failures... I push through a lot of current failures, to find what works. Wade through disaster to the hill of success. I found a way to loose weight (50lb so far), I found a way to quit smoking (2 weeks now!), I work constantly at being a good mom, friend and daughter.

We all must accept the fact that we will fall, and that those around us will fall. We must focus on picking ourselves up, being a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen so that we can help others up as well. Every day IS a new day. Cling onto hope and determination as your spiritual life preservers. And never, ever, ever stop dreaming.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming



June 26, 2009

Choice and Chance

Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.

-William Jennings Bryan

Hope springs eternal. Very true. It is easier to hold onto your hope when your dreams and decisions are free to roam. Allowing yourself full freedom accepting choices and a dash of chance will help your hope bloom.

Imagine taking full responsibility for your life. The good and the bad. "I am where I am because of the choices I have made." Fully in charge of your life. A great thing to repeat to yourself over and over again to help improve your future: "I am making positive and productive choices in my life" The action plan to join with the positive affirmation is to try and make choices for the better. And it is not always easy, 'the path to hell is paved with good intentions' comes to mind. Sometimes making the best choice isn't the easiest choice.

Let me introduce you to a friend of mine. She can be incredibly independent, self-sufficient and an inspiration. BUT... not when it comes to her choice in partners. Jumping from one to another, getting increasingly upset as the relationships fail. Putting all of her hope in to one person, and inevitably that person fails at their quest to make her whole. Now we have talked about how no one can make her whole [just as no one can make me whole or make you whole], that you must feel complete inside before a relationship, otherwise you either expect too much of that person, or start projecting your emptiness onto them. A lot of our conversations ended up with her saying a lot of "I can't..." "I can't..." "I can't..." and "Why does this always happen to me?" After many conversations I had to tell her that I love her. I love her enough to do what's right for her, and not help her. No more walking her through her own life, no more helping hands, no more sympathy for her own choices. That I love her enough to make her do this on her own, because she needs to. Now this story has not come to an end. Each of us comes to our own in our own time.

You have the freedom to take control of your life, to make choices on how you react to situations, how you react to people and how you handle difficulties. No one can make you do anything, but sometimes the hardest part is making yourself do something. And we all falter sometimes. The key is to pick yourself up and try again. And again.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

June 25, 2009

Give it away!

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
-Dale Carnegie

Ever needed that shoulder to cry on or just a good hug? Someone to give you an uplifting word? I have. Every body has. Sometimes we get it, sometimes we don't. There is a secret for it always to be there for you.... give it to someone.

In friendships, relationships and business, it is often easier to accomplish what you want done by helping someone else do what they need to do. Letting friends know they can call you at any time if they need to talk, giving that extra little bit to let them know that you appreciate them, all comes back to you eventually. When you need them, they will be there, as long as what you are doing for them is out of kindness, not because you have a big move coming up and you need help.

Go that extra mile in relationships too. Stop and pick some flowers (or buy them) for no reason at all. Surprise her (or him) with night out. Right them a poem. Plan a picnic in the park. And let them know how much you care.

In business, always try to improve your customer service and your service to the community. People love shopping someplace when they know it does someone else good. The lovely woman who owns the BBQ Pit in Mt. Vernon feeds hungry and homeless people once a week. Do you think I eat there? Every chance I get, the food is great and I know that by supporting this business I support our community. You can designate a certain percentage of sales to a charity, or open your place up for fundraisers, offer your services at a discount to non-profits. And let everyone know that you are doing this. You'll see people more often coming in to support you and your cause.

There is lots of good you can do in the world as a friend, spouse and business owner, do it. Do as much good as you possibly can. Get interested in other peoples causes and other peoples lives. By taking the focus off of your woes and your current issues, focus on someone else or a charity. You'll meet tons of new people that way and know that at the end of the day, you've made a difference in someones life.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming


June 24, 2009

Faith In You

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.
-Norman Vincent Peale

In order to succeed, we have to believe we can succeed. In order to be healthy, we have to believe we can be healthy. To be happy, we have to believe we can be happy. If we don't have faith that we can do something, we will always be looking for ways to NOT do what we want. SOMETHING will always go wrong and prevent us from reaching our goals. Let me repeat that one again SOMETHING WILL ALWAYS GO WRONG AND PREVENT US FROM REACHING OUR GOALS. If we are looking for a way out, or a sign that we shouldn't be doing this, or some excuse that will give us a good cop out, we will find it. Now let's flip that.

If we don't allow any excuses, NONE. And we start reinforcing faith in ourselves, we can do anything. Say that out loud 'I CAN DO ANYTHING!" It's an amazing thing, even if we don't believe in it immediately. It's like a personal revival. You are now rebuilding faith in yourself. Start with a good foundation of self-respect, then build the You that You want to be. No excuses. Find a way.

Think of all those people who overcame massive odds to do great things. You can do it. Is it any more impressive that Lance Armstrong overcame cancer to win the Tour d'France multiple times, or that a woman can raise 4 well adjusted happy kids while holding a job and having inner happiness? I don't think so. It takes the same self confidence and self love to overcome disease and despair as it does to conquer every day life. And once you are successful in one, you can do anything you put your mind to.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming


June 23, 2009


"In the end, everybody knows what the goal is and how to achieve it. This is common knowledge, and it's been around for a long, long time. Success is about knowing these things and having the will to go after them without giving up, making excuses, or getting sidetracked. It's about the uncommon application of common knowledge."

-Dr. Ivan Misner

We all have a habit we'd like to kick or a little something about ourselves that we would like to change. Have you ever been struck by that 'Ah-ha!" moment when you realize exactly what you need to do to change it? Do you know how to change it, but just can't seem to do it? It's OK we have all been there, like watching our lives from the outside. Seeing ourselves do these not so great things, knowing that we are better then this, but just seeming like we can't do anything about it.

I have gone through my fair share of not so good habits. Being obese, compulsive eating, drugs, smoking, nail biting and a not so good mother. It's not that I woke up one morning and was a think, non-smoking, grade-a mom. It takes time to dissolve old habits. Lots of time, will power, support and tears. I didn't even quit smoking until this last week. That means that I have been dumping bad habits for the last 9 years. And the work is never done...

Let me tell you a story.. when I was in 8th grade we did an experiment. The teacher had asked if anyone knew origami (having learned how to make a 'ball' in 4th grade, I raised my hand), I then stood up in front of the class and showed over and over again how to make the ball. Then the teacher split us into two groups, and gave us 3 minutes to make as many balls as possible. Pitted us against each other. And both sides numbers grew. After 3 rounds we were making twice as many as we started. The teacher uses this as a business lesson in motivation and constant improvement. By pitting different shifts against each other, you can cause a competitive reaction to make the shifts do better and improve a little more each time. Constant improvement is still with me today. Thank you to my 8th grade Teacher, though for the life of me I can't remember his name.

We just have to remember that when we make a big change in our life, to take small steps, reward ourselves. Try to make tomorrow a little better then today. And if we should stumble or fall in our task. Not to get too upset, not to chastise and speak poorly of ourselves. To get up and try again. Because we are doing something, we have stopped just talking about doing and started doing. For that you should reward yourself.

Yes, I have lost 50 lb, I am drug-free and I am a non-smoker. It's a long, hard road back from these places, but together we can walk through it. You can be the person you see yourself as being. Just map out the road to get there and put one foot in front of the other. I believe in you.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming


June 19, 2009

Being Different to Be The Same

"Relationships of trust depend on our willingness to look not only to our own interests, but also the interests of others."

- Peter Farquharson

Ever wonder why friendships often last longer then relationships?

Time and interest. We spend a lot more time with those we decide to try out for a life partnership. We often may spend too much time with them. The all consuming power of love can strangle our personal interests and cause us to strangle someone else's interests. For years we want to spend all our time together, bloom our common interests and let those things that show how different we are die. Then one day we wake up to find we have nothing to talk about. We do the same stuff, we live the same life, we were there for all the funny moments. Once the talking stops, then the enjoyment stops and you wake up one morning not knowing who this person is sleeping beside you. Sound familiar? I'm sure if it hasn't happened to you, then it's happened to someone you know.

There were two items of interest that lead me to this blog today. First was a little clip on hooping ( http://kuow.org/program.php?id=17754 ). Lovely story about a woman who finds her deeper self by exploring and then living a [hula] hooping dream. After dedicating herself to her child and husband for years, goes on to a hooping seminar/workshop and her life is changed. But she comes back and files for divorce before pursuing her dream and opening a hooping school in Seattle. I couldn't help but wonder why? Did she pour out her heart to her husband and he told her she wasn't being realistic? Was she unable to allow this 'family' life and this 'dream' life to become one together? I may never know. But I can say that when your loved one comes to you with a dream, encourage them. Help them. Give them suggestions on how to succeed. Try not to crush dreams, sometimes it's all we have to keep going.

The second one was a friend that was listing off guys that he didn't trust. Not because they were lyiers or thieves, but because they may run off with his woman. This really puzzled me. It is not the people that surround you and your love that you have to trust. It's the one that you love. When you are in a strong, healthy relationship, there is no combinations of words or actions that will magically make that person stop loving you. There is no love song or poem or debate that will make me wake up one day and think 'man he was right, I am in the completely wrong relationship'. All of those decision come from the inside. And if you are worried, let them know. There is no way to build a bond faster then talking about what worries you in a relationship.

Being different is good. Having a life outside of your life partner is good. It gives you things to talk about, your own life. And when you not only have your own life, but a life with someone, that life with someone is much greater. Because at the end of the day, you come home to each other with stories, experiences and joy.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming



June 18, 2009

Being There

"Effective listening tip: Engage with the person. Ask questions and make comments."

-Mike Robbins

Too often we spend conversations trying to think of something relevant to say, some story of ours that is similar to the story the other person is saying. Concentrating the whole time the other person is talking on what we want to say next. We lose focus on what they are saying and focus on the 'What do I say?'. A great habit to develop is really listen to what that person is saying, think of a question to go into detail, a positive reflective comment. Engage that person, try not to reflect on how to put yourself in the conversation. When you put them first, the conversation will come back around to you. Engage.

Engage in life. Participate, when you go to a class or seminar, engage. Ask questions. Go out of your way to compliment the speaker and those who stood up to speak. It is a difficult thing to get up in front of people and share yourself, let them know how much you appreciate them engaging. When a child has participated in a school play or concert (or anything for that matter) let them know how great it is that they went a step above being there to engaging in the activity. Engaging in a verbal or emotional sense is the non-physical, don't just stand there... do something!

The same thing can be applied to exercise. You hear it in videos all the time 'Engage those abs'. But a lot of folks don't exactly know what they are talking about. A simple exercise to be able to first single out muscles and then engage them is a Tense and Relax. Start with your hands, curl them into balls and then relax, then your forearm muscles, biceps and triceps, shoulders, back etc. Once you do this once a day for a couple of days you'll be able to isolate that particular muscle group. Now when you are working out and you are told to engage that muscle. Tighten it as you are doing the exercise.... that is engaging. I love to engage muscles in everyday activities. I'll engage my abs when driving. Or engage my calves when typing. Little add ons that can add a bit of toning over the long run.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming


June 17, 2009

Appreciating Yourself

"Keeping your body healthy is an expression of gratitude to the whole cosmos - the trees, the clouds, everything."

-Thich Nhat Hanh

Let me tell you a story about myself... Last year there were many changes, this is one of them. I used to walk away from every argument I got into, be it with family or friends or whatever. I wouldn't say anything I'd walk away and be done with it. That is what everyone else saw. I would actually punish myself with McDonalds Abuse. No kidding, it is funny, but not a joke. I would go order massive McDonalds with extra mayo and cheese and bacon on top. And eat it, eat it all. I knew it was bad for me and I KNEW it would make me feel worse when I was done, but I did it anyways. I didn't even realize I was doing this until a day I was upset with my partner and immediatly left the house and ordered two egg mcmuffins, extra mayo packets please. Uh, what a way to 'solve' a problem. By eating it away. And I'm not the only one...

Lots of us eat away our pain. Food is always there. Food will never say no. Food will never leave us in the middle of the night (no matter how much we ask). And above all we use food as love. We give our kids food as rewards for good behavior, we award ourselves food for doing the right thing. Lots of this food = good goes around and not all of it's bad. What we need to work on is how to appreciate ourselves. How many times have you seen something you really wanted or had something you really wanted to do? I do. I have lots on my bucket list. Instead of letting that list idle around and do nothing about it. Pick one. Price it out. $200 or $2000. Get the plan in your head for how you are going to do it. Then instead of awarding yourself with a $50 meal out. Choose a healthier meal in and put the difference in an account for your big reward. Instead of buying that $1.50 candy bar... add it to your account... you'll feel better in the long run.

The world and your health will thank you for changing a food habit to an award habit. New experiences and less garbage. Remember that your health is the foundation for a happy life. It's not that without health you cant be happy, it just a firmer foundation.

Team Note: Send a card to someone today that may be struggling with their weight or health. They will appreciate the extra support.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming



June 16, 2009

Love of Life

"Isn't this fun?"
-Kody Bateman

Life is a beautiful, magical, wonderful thing. Trees, flowers, animals, sunrises, sunsets, storms, snow, rain, all take my breath away. Seeing a baby, watching a child grow, seeing a true act of compassion between people, just amazing. Have you ever seen a kid walking down the street and start, "oh, Mommy a dog, Mommy its a dog, look Mommy its a dog!" Mom goes "That's nice honey, its a dog" and never looks, no enthusiasm, no excitement... another one I hear a lot is, "What I would give for energy like that, even just a drop of it!" It isn't that children have some endless fountain of energy (though it may seem like it) or that there is something unique about that particular dog. It's excitement. The joy of being in the world. Wanting to run so fast it almost feels like flying. And, unfortunately, most of us loose this.

So today is all about recapturing a little of that fountain of youth. Look at something with new eyes, be curious, roll in the grass. Find a friend to go the park with and play tag. Roll in the grass with your dog. Have fun. That's what this is all about... enjoying life and having fun.

Have a Blessed Day,


June 15, 2009

Monday Update 6/15

WOW!! What a week.

Monday was our first class that we started learning our form as low-yellow belts. I am so proud of Zazel, he did really well learning the first part. The double-knife hand is difficult, takes a bit of coordination and he did a great job! Class was a little tough with a guest instructor that thinks our stances should be different then how we have learned them already. It's OK, he's only here for the one class and we just have to do it the way Mr. and Mrs. Spriney has taught us.

Tuesday Tylor graduated. We are so proud of him and it was great to see both sides of the family there. Grandma Betty Lou, Grandpa Bootsy, Mary, Tom, Delilah, Carmel, Jay and Zazel. I thought is was really, really important that Zazel see him graduate. What a good role model! Ty was so very happy and he has a couple of weeks off before he starts his tutoring and summer classes at the University of Washington.

Wednesday and Thursday were same ol, same ol ;) Though on Thursday we did have a nice little family outing. Just shopping, but it was nice spending time together.

Friday was wonderful. I got to go look around Patty's business, PWS. She had a nice shop with a great selection of computer items and good prices on computers... if you are ever in Mt. Vernon, check her out pwsmv.com. TKD class we learned some new kicks, my legs are still sore.

Saturday was amazing. We had our Treat 'em Right Seminar. Kody Bateman is an inspiration and just an all around wonderful guy. I also met the Packard Boys, Betty and Bob Goldman, and Bart. I walked away in emotional shock. What a great way to live. We give our love and positive energy to the world to make it a better, happier place to live. We base all of our relationships on the fact that all any of us want is to Love and To Be Loved. Just imagine if everyone thought that way. We would be so very nice to each other.

He gave me some great pointers on how to adjust my positive affirmations to assure that they are 100% positive. I am re-writing them today and sending a 2nd card to myself. We also talked about setting goals for our Why. I'm still pondering that one. He was focused on material possessions, house and car namely. I'm not one to be big on owning stuff. So I have to try and think of my why. My family is my why, but I'll have to drill that one down to a very specific why or whys.

Sunday was fantastic, I have reclaimed Sunday as my family day. No work or computer time until 8pm. We had breakfast, went to the park, realized it was cold, went home to get our jackets and went to the park again. Then we went to practice at a friends house where I ended up cooking some BBQ.

All in all a great week. Here are some opportunities for meeting new people this week:

June 17th: Essential Remedies: Spiritual Aromatherapy Sprays at Mt. Vernon Co-op 6:30pm - 8pm

June 20th: Ride to Conquer Cancer, Edgwater Park in Mt. Vernon

Kids Summer Safety Fair, Mt. Vernon YMCA 10am - 2pm

June 18- 21st: Berry Dairy Days in Burlington, www.burlington-chamber.com

June 16 - 20th: Marysville Strawberry Festival

This Weeks Freebie:

Free business counseling at the Everett Area Chamber of Commerce
Jumpstart Your Business

With cash and counseling provided by a professional business assistance counselor.

Appointments now scheduling for second Wednesday of each month, 10:00 am - 3:00pm (unless otherwise noted).
Call 425.257.3222 x 0 to reserve your time.

Small Business Loans/SBA-backed
From $500 - $35,000
Quick loan processing for $10,000 or less
Leasehold improvements
Equipment purchases
Hiring Employees
Operating capital
Other ... ?

Community Capital Development is an equal opportunity lender. All SBA prorams are offered on a non-discriminatory basis.Questions? Contact the Chamber at info@everettchamber.com or 425.257.3222

Everett Area Chamber of Commerce2000 Hewitt Avenue Suite 205 Everett, WA

For Purchase:
By Appointment Only. Call 425.257.3222

June 12, 2009

"Other things may change us, but we start and end with family."

-Anthony Brandt

There can be nothing greater then returning home after a long, hard day. There is nothing like home, no matter where or what it is. Never underestimate the power of home, friends and family.

We have these moments, usually after experiencing or learning about an incident of tragedy that we want to take a tight hold on all around us. These moments when we want to hug our kids, kiss our spouse, be with our mom, have coffee with our friends. But why don't we do this more often? Why does it take a jolt of the heart to make us value these things in life more?

I have no answer for that. I don't know why we do the things we do, but I do know that we can change little things that we do to make our lives better. And the fastest way to make our lives better is to make the lives of those around us a little better. My solution to the 'not enough time for family and friends' issue is... make time.

We set appointments for our doctor and our dentist and our councilors, but why not for our family. Decide one day a week or month that you visit a relative. Choose one day a week to have lunch with a friend. Choose one day a week when you actually leave the office at 5 (hell, shoot for the moon and leave early), to go home and be with your family. Turn your cell off, turn your computer off, turn the TV off and actually BE with them. Go to a park, have dinner. Just be there. A few hours a month dedicated to giving your time to those you love can have an amazing effect on your happiness, stress level and general well being.

Give it a shot for 3 months and let me know what happens. My life changed the second I stepped away from my 9-5 (yeah right, my 6am - 7pm) office job to strike out on my own and spend more time with my son. He is better for it and so am I.

Have a Blessed Day,

Send Out Cards

Send a card to tell them that you love them, for free at http://www.sendoutcards.com/celticblessings

June 11, 2009

Inside Out

"Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself."
-Og Mandino

Day in and day out we are bombarded with images that tell us with 'just this' we could be happier, thinner, smarter, sexier, etc. Sometimes we rush out or pick up the phone to by such things. But it is a lie. There is no cream that heals inner hurt. There's no pill that will patch together a broken soul. There is only ourselves.

There was a turning point in my life when relationships opened up to me and I realized I had been thinking about them in the wrong way. It was my freshman year at college in my Intro To Communications class. We were discussing feelings. How do feeling appear? Can someone make you feel something? Can you make someone feel something? I said that feelings are an expression of the soul and that you can make someone feel something, sometimes it's not what you want, but you can. He said I was wrong. Flat out wrong. I was so set back that my jaw dropped. He told me to think about these two situations:

You are sitting at a coffee house with your friends talking politics... you say something to your best friend and she says "Oh, Shut UP!" How do you feel? Do you take her seriously? Probably not. You are friends, it's what you do.

Now, you are in a clothing store. You turn and accidentally bump in to someone, both of your purchases hit the ground. You start apologising profusely and the guy says "Oh, Shut UP!" How do you feel then? Do you take him seriously? Probably. Because the situations are different, or because you are different?

It's a great idea to ponder, no one can MAKE you feel anything. You ALLOW them to make you feel the way you do. It is fantastically liberating feeling when you can see how you feel and then judge your reactions based on it. No more flying off the handle or letting someone hurt you for no reason. And you can use this to change someone else's life.

Smile and eye contact. The grumpier the person looks on the street, look them right in the eye, give them a sincere smile and say "Good Morning!". They don't have to reply, they don't even have to smile back. But it will get them thinking, and smiles are contagious.

Have A Blessed Day.


June 10, 2009

Appreciating Fellow People

'If God had meant woman to rule over man, He would have taken her from his head. Had He designed her to be his slave, He would have taken her from his feet. But God took woman out of man's side, for he made her to be a helpmeet and an equal to him' -St. Augustine

Take a look at the quote... read it a few times.. now replace woman, with man or visa versa. We are not meant to rule and conquer eachother, we are meant to be helpmeets (friends) and equals. Anything less is unnatural.

I learned from Sesame Street that smiles are contagious, I learned from girlfriends that giggles are congatious, I learned from The Power of Encouragement by Dr. David Jeremiah that encouragement is contagious. It is a simple way of saying what you put out you get back. I focus on putting positive energy and thoughts out there. Believing in what my fellow men and women are doing, even if it seems impossible. Trusting in that the human spirit is the most powerful force that we possess.

So, what can we do to embrace this?

Let's lend a hand of support to a friend that is in need. If someone is out of work, ask around to see if anyone knows of any jobs availible. If someone looks tired, volunteer to watch there kids for an afternoon so they can get rest. If someone looks down, offer a cup of coffee and a freindly ear. Send a note of appreciation. Send a note of love.

Point of today, do something good for someone else, because we are all a part of the same world and deserve to be treated well.

Have a Blessed Day,