"It's a heck of a start, being able to recognize what makes you happy."
-Lucille Ball
Over the last year my son has be increasingly obsessed with stuff. He always wants to get stuff, anything: toys, mail, candy, etc. He will explain to you in great detail how happy it makes him to be on the receiving end of gifts. He likes to get stuff to give stuff away. And it worries me.
It worries me because he is not happy without it. It worries me that when he is not happy, he doesn't know why. It worries me because I was the same way when I was his age, though mine was not the getting stuff, it was just a general unhappiness.
I've spent years and years trying to fill that void where happiness should be. I went through my teen years feeling hopeless and terrible unhappy, I had The Void. I've tried filling it with food, drinks, relationships, you name it, I tried it. None of it every worked, I'd get a temporary relieve from The Void, but over time The Void always came back. All I was doing was avoiding the what and why of happiness.
There is no certainty that you or I will ever find what truly makes us happy, but a little inner searching can help you distinguish why we do what we do.
Does money make me happy? No. Some people really love money, I don't. It pisses me off. I have to dedicate so much of my time to earning it, managing it and spending it, that it takes away from all the stuff I really want to be doing. I want it, lots of it, just so that I can go about my daily life without the money questions lingering in the back of my mind.
Does food make me happy? Kinda. Food is an odd sort of fellow. I love the fact that you can take all these seemingly unrelated items and create a fabulous experience of the senses. I like the fact that several times a day I can pull off a creation. The question is does food itself make me happy or is it the joy I get from the experience of working with it? I'll have to think about that question for a few more years.
I can go on and on with habits that are both good and bad and the 'Does it make me happy?' question. What I do know is I have a list of things that I know I get a kick out of: I like experiencing new things, I like creating things and I love learning something new. If I am doing any of those things, I fell happy and fulfilled, at least for a little while.
We all are different and our ability to acquire happiness is as varying as our personalities. You just have to ask yourself if what you are doing is making you happy. Long term success is based on how happy and content you are with your daily actions. If you continue to do things that go against your happiness, you will stop doing them or turn into a bitter and often angry person.
So, lighten up. Let some joy in. Who cares if you are 55 and still finger painting and playing with dolls. If it makes you happy, then do it!
Have a Blessed Day,
Brandy
CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com
http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz
Showing posts with label different. Show all posts
Showing posts with label different. Show all posts
May 5, 2010
October 23, 2009
The General Joy and Rapture of At-Home Work
I have to say the best and worst thing about working at home is working at home. The daily ability to decide what I’m going to do, when I’m going to do it and how I’m going to do it has been the ultimate freedom that I have enjoyed over the last 5 years. Though there has been many, many days when I really wanted (and sometimes needed) someone to tell me what I needed to do, how to do it and when it needed to be done. This is the fun and frustration of being at home.
I don’t know about you or your life, but I can spend days on end just tending to my family and home. I can get up in the morning, get my son on the bus, go to the gym, tend to my chore list, run errands, fix meals, help with homework, spend a little quality time with my family and end my day feeling like I have worked 16 hours (because I just did!) and never, ever have one second to actually work on my business. I am continually amazed at parents that can keep a family and house in order on top of pulling off a 50 hour work week (they say it’s 40 hours, but we all know we’re ‘at work’ for at least 50). All I have to do to keep myself on track is to think of the commute, the boss and daycare, the trinity of office work nightmares.
One of the other bitter-sweet facts of working at home is that you are home, all the time. There is nothing I love more than being able to put my son on the bus to school and being there when he gets off the bus (other than the days we play hooky and have fun around town together). When he needs me, I am there. I don’t have to call into work, I don’t have to worry about being fired and no-school days don’t make me freak-out about where he’s going to go. On the other hand, I am always home. There are three words that come out of the mouths of friends and family that make me cringe… ‘Are you home?’ I’ve recently taken to saying, ‘Um, I’m at the office.’, this usually gets me at least 10 more minutes of calm before they call back with ‘I thought you worked at home?’. You get called on everything from going out to coffee, to volunteering at the school , to picking up prescriptions. They know your home, therefore you must certainly be available.
All in all, it is a really sweet deal. There days when I would love to pack up my laptop and go into an office where someone else buys the office supplies, takes out the trash and fixes the printer, but the days of sleeping in until 8, not having to ever get in the car and spending extra time with my family outweigh them 25-to-1. Working at home is not as easy as it seems, but can be done with a little organization, prioritizing and boundary setting.
Have a Blessed Day,
Brandy Deming
CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com
http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz
I don’t know about you or your life, but I can spend days on end just tending to my family and home. I can get up in the morning, get my son on the bus, go to the gym, tend to my chore list, run errands, fix meals, help with homework, spend a little quality time with my family and end my day feeling like I have worked 16 hours (because I just did!) and never, ever have one second to actually work on my business. I am continually amazed at parents that can keep a family and house in order on top of pulling off a 50 hour work week (they say it’s 40 hours, but we all know we’re ‘at work’ for at least 50). All I have to do to keep myself on track is to think of the commute, the boss and daycare, the trinity of office work nightmares.
One of the other bitter-sweet facts of working at home is that you are home, all the time. There is nothing I love more than being able to put my son on the bus to school and being there when he gets off the bus (other than the days we play hooky and have fun around town together). When he needs me, I am there. I don’t have to call into work, I don’t have to worry about being fired and no-school days don’t make me freak-out about where he’s going to go. On the other hand, I am always home. There are three words that come out of the mouths of friends and family that make me cringe… ‘Are you home?’ I’ve recently taken to saying, ‘Um, I’m at the office.’, this usually gets me at least 10 more minutes of calm before they call back with ‘I thought you worked at home?’. You get called on everything from going out to coffee, to volunteering at the school , to picking up prescriptions. They know your home, therefore you must certainly be available.
All in all, it is a really sweet deal. There days when I would love to pack up my laptop and go into an office where someone else buys the office supplies, takes out the trash and fixes the printer, but the days of sleeping in until 8, not having to ever get in the car and spending extra time with my family outweigh them 25-to-1. Working at home is not as easy as it seems, but can be done with a little organization, prioritizing and boundary setting.
Have a Blessed Day,
Brandy Deming
CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com
http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz
July 14, 2009
Trust
You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough.
In this day and age, and maybe in every other day and age (I lack the personal experience to speak on other days and ages), trust is a rare thing. I hear quite often how someone "doesn't trust anyone" or "doesn't trust anyone they don't know". This makes me smile. Doing research to verify what someone is telling you is one thing, not trusting anyone is another. If you are a person who prides themselves on not trusting people, you should probably stop reading here.
You trust people every day, you trust people you never have, nor probably never will, meet in person. 'I DO NOT!', you say? Well, if you leave your house, use electricity in your house or turn your water on you do. We trust that the people driving behind us will hit their brakes and not hit us. We trust that the person driving next to us will stay in their lane. We trust that the power company employees will go to work today. We trust in the person who made the food we are eating (even the person who fills the Mac N Cheese box!). There is an entire army of people who we trust every day to do the right thing, get their job done right and have common courtesy. Think on this one, the first few times I realized this, I was really, REALLY, nervous driving home.
This is a great story about a professional golfer, I cannot recall from what era or what his name is, but it's a great story:
He had been on the professional circuit for about 2 years. He was having a remarkable game one day and actually took 1st place. But because of an error by his caddy, a mis-add that would have actually improved his score, he was disqualified. An error in scoring is an error in scoring, good or bad, and is an immediate disqualification. He was not mad, caddy didn't get fired, he simply said "We all make mistakes and I still had the best game of my career, even if it didn't count for winning."
Two weeks later he beat his best game and won $15,000. Being very proud of himself, he took his time washing up and getting changed. Just really enjoying the moment. As he was walking to his car a young, disheveled woman came up to him... She had no money, no job, her baby was sick, dieing in the hospital, she couldn't pay the medical bills and she was about to loose their car and their apartment. Could he please help? Without a second though, he sighed the $15,000 check over to her.
The next day one of his friends who had seen the interaction, informed him that she was a con artist. She had stolen from him. There was no sick baby, just a greedy woman. "Your kidding?" he asked. "That's the best news I've heard all day. There's no sick baby. I was up all night worrying about a poor child in the hospital."
You see sometimes when you focus on all the bad things that people do and have to offer, you miss out on some of the really great stuff. You stress yourself out, become suspicious and may loose out on great things that can come your way. The way the golfer reacted is amazing, completely ignoring the wrong that was done to him, relishing in the positive of what happened. In his world, there is now one less sick child. Fabulous!
I'm not saying that you should put your trust in everyone that you meed. Just to be a little less distrustful. Give a dollar to that homeless guy, does it really matter if he spends it on food or booze, that's going to be HIS conversation with his maker, not yours. Yours will be of kindness. Donate to charity that comes to your door. Sure, it may be a scheme, but in the long run $5 won't make or break you. But it can be a meal or help that someone else really, really needs. Lets work together to make this world a better place. One blind kindness at a time.
Have a Blessed Day,
Brandy Deming
CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com
http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz
-Frank Crane
In this day and age, and maybe in every other day and age (I lack the personal experience to speak on other days and ages), trust is a rare thing. I hear quite often how someone "doesn't trust anyone" or "doesn't trust anyone they don't know". This makes me smile. Doing research to verify what someone is telling you is one thing, not trusting anyone is another. If you are a person who prides themselves on not trusting people, you should probably stop reading here.
You trust people every day, you trust people you never have, nor probably never will, meet in person. 'I DO NOT!', you say? Well, if you leave your house, use electricity in your house or turn your water on you do. We trust that the people driving behind us will hit their brakes and not hit us. We trust that the person driving next to us will stay in their lane. We trust that the power company employees will go to work today. We trust in the person who made the food we are eating (even the person who fills the Mac N Cheese box!). There is an entire army of people who we trust every day to do the right thing, get their job done right and have common courtesy. Think on this one, the first few times I realized this, I was really, REALLY, nervous driving home.
This is a great story about a professional golfer, I cannot recall from what era or what his name is, but it's a great story:
He had been on the professional circuit for about 2 years. He was having a remarkable game one day and actually took 1st place. But because of an error by his caddy, a mis-add that would have actually improved his score, he was disqualified. An error in scoring is an error in scoring, good or bad, and is an immediate disqualification. He was not mad, caddy didn't get fired, he simply said "We all make mistakes and I still had the best game of my career, even if it didn't count for winning."
Two weeks later he beat his best game and won $15,000. Being very proud of himself, he took his time washing up and getting changed. Just really enjoying the moment. As he was walking to his car a young, disheveled woman came up to him... She had no money, no job, her baby was sick, dieing in the hospital, she couldn't pay the medical bills and she was about to loose their car and their apartment. Could he please help? Without a second though, he sighed the $15,000 check over to her.
The next day one of his friends who had seen the interaction, informed him that she was a con artist. She had stolen from him. There was no sick baby, just a greedy woman. "Your kidding?" he asked. "That's the best news I've heard all day. There's no sick baby. I was up all night worrying about a poor child in the hospital."
You see sometimes when you focus on all the bad things that people do and have to offer, you miss out on some of the really great stuff. You stress yourself out, become suspicious and may loose out on great things that can come your way. The way the golfer reacted is amazing, completely ignoring the wrong that was done to him, relishing in the positive of what happened. In his world, there is now one less sick child. Fabulous!
I'm not saying that you should put your trust in everyone that you meed. Just to be a little less distrustful. Give a dollar to that homeless guy, does it really matter if he spends it on food or booze, that's going to be HIS conversation with his maker, not yours. Yours will be of kindness. Donate to charity that comes to your door. Sure, it may be a scheme, but in the long run $5 won't make or break you. But it can be a meal or help that someone else really, really needs. Lets work together to make this world a better place. One blind kindness at a time.
Have a Blessed Day,
Brandy Deming
CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com
http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz
July 9, 2009
Smile
Let us make one point, that we meet each other with a smile, when it is difficult to smile. Smile at each other, make time for each other in your family.
There are many places in life that you cannot get to without a smile. Namely, people's hearts and minds. I picked up a saying awhile back, 'Smile when you feel like frowning, laugh when you feel like crying.'. I'm not sure who I picked it up from, but it helps. In our down and out moments doing the opposite of what we feel like can do a world of good.
Smiles are also contagious. You will open more doors in life with a sincere smile and looking people in the eyes, then you can being cleaver. I am reminded of a story I heard about Mrs. Gretchen and Mrs. Smith.
Mrs. Gretchen and Mrs. Smith went to the same church and attended the ladies brunch together on the first Saturday of the month. Mrs. Smith never took a liking to Mrs. Gretchen, and didn't know why. She would smile at her, and Mrs. Gretchen would scowl back. She would ask her how her week went, Mrs. Gretchen would give short answers with a nasty tone that made Mrs. Smith feel sorry for even asking. And so after a while Mrs. Smith just accepted the fact that Mrs. Gretchen didn't like her. And that's the way it went for a long time.
Then one day Mrs. Smith got to thinking about it again, and it made her sad and angry. Sad that they didn't like each other and angry that Mrs. Gretchen never gave her a chance. So Mrs. Smith started taking ingredients out of her cupboards. She mixed up the dough for the pie crust, thinking about all the times she had smiled at Mrs. Gretchen and not gotten a smile back. She boiled the pudding on the stove thinking about how they always seem to sit at different tables during brunch. She whipped up the meringue thinking how she always set so far away from Mrs. Gretchen during church. Then when her perfect lemon meringue pie was done, she looked down at her feet and said "OK, start walking."
With her stomach in knots, she started down the street. Wanting a million times to turn around and go home, she crossed the tracks. Then she looked around at this run down neighborhood. No color, no kids playing, no sprinklers, all browns and greys. And she felt a little sad. Feeling about faint, she knocked on Mrs. Gretchen's door. "What do you want?!" was the answer she got. "I made you a pie and would like to share a piece with you." Mrs. Smith replied. They went in and shared that pie, and coffee, and it wasn't that they miraculously got along from that day to this, but it slowly got better. And now they are friends, not best friends, but friends nonetheless.
It's not a miracle to be nice to people, but it can be difficult. Smile. Smile. Smile. It will help. And when it seems that someone hates you and you feel like hating them in return. Do something extra nice for them. You may not be best friends after that. But it will lessen the anger and after a while, the anger will be gone.
Have a Blessed Day,
Brandy Deming
CelticBlessings4u@Gmail.com
http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz
-Mother Teresa
There are many places in life that you cannot get to without a smile. Namely, people's hearts and minds. I picked up a saying awhile back, 'Smile when you feel like frowning, laugh when you feel like crying.'. I'm not sure who I picked it up from, but it helps. In our down and out moments doing the opposite of what we feel like can do a world of good.
Smiles are also contagious. You will open more doors in life with a sincere smile and looking people in the eyes, then you can being cleaver. I am reminded of a story I heard about Mrs. Gretchen and Mrs. Smith.
Mrs. Gretchen and Mrs. Smith went to the same church and attended the ladies brunch together on the first Saturday of the month. Mrs. Smith never took a liking to Mrs. Gretchen, and didn't know why. She would smile at her, and Mrs. Gretchen would scowl back. She would ask her how her week went, Mrs. Gretchen would give short answers with a nasty tone that made Mrs. Smith feel sorry for even asking. And so after a while Mrs. Smith just accepted the fact that Mrs. Gretchen didn't like her. And that's the way it went for a long time.
Then one day Mrs. Smith got to thinking about it again, and it made her sad and angry. Sad that they didn't like each other and angry that Mrs. Gretchen never gave her a chance. So Mrs. Smith started taking ingredients out of her cupboards. She mixed up the dough for the pie crust, thinking about all the times she had smiled at Mrs. Gretchen and not gotten a smile back. She boiled the pudding on the stove thinking about how they always seem to sit at different tables during brunch. She whipped up the meringue thinking how she always set so far away from Mrs. Gretchen during church. Then when her perfect lemon meringue pie was done, she looked down at her feet and said "OK, start walking."
With her stomach in knots, she started down the street. Wanting a million times to turn around and go home, she crossed the tracks. Then she looked around at this run down neighborhood. No color, no kids playing, no sprinklers, all browns and greys. And she felt a little sad. Feeling about faint, she knocked on Mrs. Gretchen's door. "What do you want?!" was the answer she got. "I made you a pie and would like to share a piece with you." Mrs. Smith replied. They went in and shared that pie, and coffee, and it wasn't that they miraculously got along from that day to this, but it slowly got better. And now they are friends, not best friends, but friends nonetheless.
It's not a miracle to be nice to people, but it can be difficult. Smile. Smile. Smile. It will help. And when it seems that someone hates you and you feel like hating them in return. Do something extra nice for them. You may not be best friends after that. But it will lessen the anger and after a while, the anger will be gone.
Have a Blessed Day,
Brandy Deming
CelticBlessings4u@Gmail.com
http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz
June 25, 2009
Give it away!
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
-Dale Carnegie
Ever needed that shoulder to cry on or just a good hug? Someone to give you an uplifting word? I have. Every body has. Sometimes we get it, sometimes we don't. There is a secret for it always to be there for you.... give it to someone.
In friendships, relationships and business, it is often easier to accomplish what you want done by helping someone else do what they need to do. Letting friends know they can call you at any time if they need to talk, giving that extra little bit to let them know that you appreciate them, all comes back to you eventually. When you need them, they will be there, as long as what you are doing for them is out of kindness, not because you have a big move coming up and you need help.
Go that extra mile in relationships too. Stop and pick some flowers (or buy them) for no reason at all. Surprise her (or him) with night out. Right them a poem. Plan a picnic in the park. And let them know how much you care.
In business, always try to improve your customer service and your service to the community. People love shopping someplace when they know it does someone else good. The lovely woman who owns the BBQ Pit in Mt. Vernon feeds hungry and homeless people once a week. Do you think I eat there? Every chance I get, the food is great and I know that by supporting this business I support our community. You can designate a certain percentage of sales to a charity, or open your place up for fundraisers, offer your services at a discount to non-profits. And let everyone know that you are doing this. You'll see people more often coming in to support you and your cause.
There is lots of good you can do in the world as a friend, spouse and business owner, do it. Do as much good as you possibly can. Get interested in other peoples causes and other peoples lives. By taking the focus off of your woes and your current issues, focus on someone else or a charity. You'll meet tons of new people that way and know that at the end of the day, you've made a difference in someones life.
Have a Blessed Day,
Brandy Deming
CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com
http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz
-Dale Carnegie
Ever needed that shoulder to cry on or just a good hug? Someone to give you an uplifting word? I have. Every body has. Sometimes we get it, sometimes we don't. There is a secret for it always to be there for you.... give it to someone.
In friendships, relationships and business, it is often easier to accomplish what you want done by helping someone else do what they need to do. Letting friends know they can call you at any time if they need to talk, giving that extra little bit to let them know that you appreciate them, all comes back to you eventually. When you need them, they will be there, as long as what you are doing for them is out of kindness, not because you have a big move coming up and you need help.
Go that extra mile in relationships too. Stop and pick some flowers (or buy them) for no reason at all. Surprise her (or him) with night out. Right them a poem. Plan a picnic in the park. And let them know how much you care.
In business, always try to improve your customer service and your service to the community. People love shopping someplace when they know it does someone else good. The lovely woman who owns the BBQ Pit in Mt. Vernon feeds hungry and homeless people once a week. Do you think I eat there? Every chance I get, the food is great and I know that by supporting this business I support our community. You can designate a certain percentage of sales to a charity, or open your place up for fundraisers, offer your services at a discount to non-profits. And let everyone know that you are doing this. You'll see people more often coming in to support you and your cause.
There is lots of good you can do in the world as a friend, spouse and business owner, do it. Do as much good as you possibly can. Get interested in other peoples causes and other peoples lives. By taking the focus off of your woes and your current issues, focus on someone else or a charity. You'll meet tons of new people that way and know that at the end of the day, you've made a difference in someones life.
Have a Blessed Day,
Brandy Deming
CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com
http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz
June 19, 2009
Being Different to Be The Same
"Relationships of trust depend on our willingness to look not only to our own interests, but also the interests of others."
- Peter Farquharson
Ever wonder why friendships often last longer then relationships?
Time and interest. We spend a lot more time with those we decide to try out for a life partnership. We often may spend too much time with them. The all consuming power of love can strangle our personal interests and cause us to strangle someone else's interests. For years we want to spend all our time together, bloom our common interests and let those things that show how different we are die. Then one day we wake up to find we have nothing to talk about. We do the same stuff, we live the same life, we were there for all the funny moments. Once the talking stops, then the enjoyment stops and you wake up one morning not knowing who this person is sleeping beside you. Sound familiar? I'm sure if it hasn't happened to you, then it's happened to someone you know.
There were two items of interest that lead me to this blog today. First was a little clip on hooping ( http://kuow.org/program.php?id=17754 ). Lovely story about a woman who finds her deeper self by exploring and then living a [hula] hooping dream. After dedicating herself to her child and husband for years, goes on to a hooping seminar/workshop and her life is changed. But she comes back and files for divorce before pursuing her dream and opening a hooping school in Seattle. I couldn't help but wonder why? Did she pour out her heart to her husband and he told her she wasn't being realistic? Was she unable to allow this 'family' life and this 'dream' life to become one together? I may never know. But I can say that when your loved one comes to you with a dream, encourage them. Help them. Give them suggestions on how to succeed. Try not to crush dreams, sometimes it's all we have to keep going.
The second one was a friend that was listing off guys that he didn't trust. Not because they were lyiers or thieves, but because they may run off with his woman. This really puzzled me. It is not the people that surround you and your love that you have to trust. It's the one that you love. When you are in a strong, healthy relationship, there is no combinations of words or actions that will magically make that person stop loving you. There is no love song or poem or debate that will make me wake up one day and think 'man he was right, I am in the completely wrong relationship'. All of those decision come from the inside. And if you are worried, let them know. There is no way to build a bond faster then talking about what worries you in a relationship.
Being different is good. Having a life outside of your life partner is good. It gives you things to talk about, your own life. And when you not only have your own life, but a life with someone, that life with someone is much greater. Because at the end of the day, you come home to each other with stories, experiences and joy.
Have a Blessed Day,
Brandy Deming
http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz
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