The Soft, The Hard and The Unknown..

Never judge a book by it's cover.

When I was in fourth grade, we had this group of recruiters come into our class. They pulled some of us out and gave us relatively odd projects to do. Build a weight bearing structure out of straw, playdoh and a dixie cup; here's how to do an origami ball, now do it. Several activities that seem to have no purpose. This was Odyssey of the Mind, and I was accepted. Think Brain Olympics for kids.

Part of OM was building these structures out of balsa wood. A baby could break this stuff in half and we were to build a structure (no more then 7oz in weight if I recall correctly) that should hold weight, the team that had the sturdiest structure won. I am still amazed to this day that we could do this, as kids. KIDS! We took flimsy wood and glue and turned it into something pretty amazing.

I also recall as a kid these rocks near a creek at my Grandma's place. They looked like rocks, they smelled like rocks, they tasted like dirt, but other then that they seemed like perfectly good rocks... until you picked them up. I could crush them with my hands, and I did. Over and over again, I felt like David. It was very cool.

Laying in bed last night got me thinking about these two stories. Something soft, made into something strong: something seemingly hard made actually fragile. It's like people. Some of the sweetest, most sensitive people I know, you would probably cross the street if you saw them walking towards you. On the flip side, some of the meanest things I have ever heard or seen done has come out of innocent, sweet looking people. We really shouldn't judge.

Not that if you see a mean looking person coming your way you shouldn't be a little weary, but in a social situation try meeting with people you don't usually go up to. You may be surprised. I'm trying. Remember when you interact with people that they are going through life's pile of dung heap too. That waitress you yelled at because of poor service? How do you know that her mother didn't just pass. That guy who cut you off? Maybe his wife is in labor. There's a million ways to be mean and hateful. Let's all try a few ways to be nice, loving and more accommodating to our fellow humans... no matter how much we want to ram our car into theirs and flip them the bird.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/brandy.deming

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy.

"It's a heck of a start, being able to recognize what makes you happy."

-Lucille Ball


Over the last year my son has be increasingly obsessed with stuff. He always wants to get stuff, anything: toys, mail, candy, etc. He will explain to you in great detail how happy it makes him to be on the receiving end of gifts. He likes to get stuff to give stuff away. And it worries me.

It worries me because he is not happy without it. It worries me that when he is not happy, he doesn't know why. It worries me because I was the same way when I was his age, though mine was not the getting stuff, it was just a general unhappiness.

I've spent years and years trying to fill that void where happiness should be. I went through my teen years feeling hopeless and terrible unhappy, I had The Void. I've tried filling it with food, drinks, relationships, you name it, I tried it. None of it every worked, I'd get a temporary relieve from The Void, but over time The Void always came back. All I was doing was avoiding the what and why of happiness.

There is no certainty that you or I will ever find what truly makes us happy, but a little inner searching can help you distinguish why we do what we do.

Does money make me happy? No. Some people really love money, I don't. It pisses me off. I have to dedicate so much of my time to earning it, managing it and spending it, that it takes away from all the stuff I really want to be doing. I want it, lots of it, just so that I can go about my daily life without the money questions lingering in the back of my mind.

Does food make me happy? Kinda. Food is an odd sort of fellow. I love the fact that you can take all these seemingly unrelated items and create a fabulous experience of the senses. I like the fact that several times a day I can pull off a creation. The question is does food itself make me happy or is it the joy I get from the experience of working with it? I'll have to think about that question for a few more years.

I can go on and on with habits that are both good and bad and the 'Does it make me happy?' question. What I do know is I have a list of things that I know I get a kick out of: I like experiencing new things, I like creating things and I love learning something new. If I am doing any of those things, I fell happy and fulfilled, at least for a little while.

We all are different and our ability to acquire happiness is as varying as our personalities. You just have to ask yourself if what you are doing is making you happy. Long term success is based on how happy and content you are with your daily actions. If you continue to do things that go against your happiness, you will stop doing them or turn into a bitter and often angry person.

So, lighten up. Let some joy in. Who cares if you are 55 and still finger painting and playing with dolls. If it makes you happy, then do it!



Have a Blessed Day,


Brandy
CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com
http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz

The 1 Ton Phone

If we're growing, we're always going to be out of our comfort zone.
-John Maxwell




The fear of the phone is so very common amongst business owners. There is no shame in knowing that you KNOW you have to make calls to get business, yet you avoid the phone like it's got the plague. We all understand, we have all done it.



I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who was saying how they only had a couple of customers that month and didn't want to spend a lot of money on an advertising campaign. She then asked me what I would do. I said I'd get on the phone, start calling people, see what's going on. She said she hated doing that and was going to run the ad campaign... Oh well.



Referrals can be the life blood of your business, but how do you get one and from who?



The people who give you referrals are the ones who know and like you. Lots of business owners put their social lives on hold in order to advance their business. It is a huge mistake. How can you get to know new people and have those you know like you, if they never get to spend time with you? The solution is to call them. Don't call to talk shop, call to see what's going on in their lives, call to see if there is anything you can help them with. Do they have a fundraiser going on? Any special events for their kids? I'm telling you from both a parent and a business owner's point of view, buying a few chocolate bars or an $8 roll of wrapping paper goes a long, long way in developing relationships!



Want to call people but have no idea what to say? Try keeping a log. Just a few notes on what's going on with them. See if they are on Facebook or Twitter, it will give you a better idea of what to talk to them about. In the log try to keep track of kids, pets, spouses, any issues they may be having. If they mention in January that Jane is working on her final project for graduation in June, that gives you a great reason to call back in June!!



If you need to set appointments for presentations? This is BY FAR the hardest reason on why you need to call people. Calling someone out of the blue, or even someone you know well and putting yourself out there opens a huge door on our self-esteem. There's lots of outcomes and I think I've heard them all. From rude, to excited, to unwilling to can't wait, you never know what's going to happen on the other end of that phone. But it MUST, MUST, MUST be done. Try working out different approaches, some people wouldn't' listen for a second if they thought you were trying to sell them something, but if they thought they were listening as a favor to you or to see if they know someone, it can be a different story. Try and figure out what approach would work for them and if nothing else, just try, try, try again.



Using the phone to build your business is like any other tool or skill you need to be effective. I don't think any of us were born with a great ability to set appointments, get referrals or build relationships. We have to practice at it. Start small, try 5 phone calls a day. Just keep working at it. Like all other skills, it will grow with time, and soon you will be great at it!





Have a Blessed Day,



Brandy Deming



CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com
http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz

I Suck At This!

How many a man has thrown up his hands at a time when a little more effort, a little more patience would have achieved success.
-Elbert Hubbard



Over the last month I have been homeschooling my son. It is a growing experience for us both. I have always appreciated teachers, they do something that I would not even try to do in my wildest dreams. This experience has made me appreciate them even more. As we struggle over grammar, spelling, math and Spanish, I hear myself repeating the same words over and over again.

"I suck at this!" he will cry out.

"You don't suck, you just don't have enough practice." I tell him, "No one is good at anything their first try, they have to practice, practice, practice. Just be patient"

It struck me today how true that is. It's not that we really try to limit ourselves and what we can do, it's more like we expect our god-given gifts to appear to us. As if one day we shall wake up and know that we are supposed to write a great novel, or be a great business person, or even to be the best parent. Unfortunately many of the talents and gifts that we need and want in life have to be learned.

Learning is a hard process that takes much patience. I am a seamstress, by no means the best seamstress, but I can stitch together many types and styles of clothes. I sewed my first dress when I was 11. Even after so many years of sewing, there are things I have to learn and many, many things I have yet to do well, let alone perfect. I can think back to so many scrapped projects, panels sewn in the wrong way, mis-matched button and button holes, crooked hems, bad seams and just general disasters that have lead me to this point. This point where I can take a tissue pattern, some thread, cloth and notions and bring forth a beautiful gown.

Thinking about all the work and mistakes that have gone into this learning process, I have to ask myself why I think that, in just a few years, I could change my life. Why I would be so down on myself for not succeeding in all of the tasks I set out for myself?

It is my personal lack of patience. I told myself I was being patient at 6 months and a year. That my success was right around the corner. But then after that year had passed, I started to think I must be doing something wrong. That maybe I had chosen the wrong path, that this was fates way of telling me to do something different. I spent a lot of time thinking about it, and I say "No!". It's not the wrong path, I am just learning.

I am taking steps down this long, winding, difficult road of self-improvement and self-realization. One day I will have what I want and do what I want to do. I just need to keep learning, keep reading. I will one day be able to help those around me to succeed in their endeavors. I will find those people who will help me by helping themselves. I am absolutely positive that we are not all lost causes and have a set life laid out before us. I have faith that we can be whatever we want to be in life.

This belief guides me and keeps me on my path of learning. This learning will never be done, ever. And I am thankful for it.

Have a Blessed Day,



Brandy Deming

CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com
http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings

Does It Hurt Enough?

One day when traveling, I walk into an old General Store. You know the kind with wood flooring? There's a dog laying by the counter, groaning. Every few minutes he'd let out a little groan. When I put my items on the counter to pay for it I ask the man there what was wrong with the dog. He stated that the dog was laying on a nail. I asked why he didn't move. The man replied, "It doesn't hurt enough."

I heard this the other day on a Leadership Training CD. The man spoke of how many of us complain about different aspects of our lives, but never do anything about it. How it's because it doesn't hurt enough yet. It's shocking how true this is!

There are things about our lives that we all want to change. Everyone knows by now that I am a self-improvement junkie. It's amusing that there are a lot of people out there who think that only losers and those with low self esteem read self-improvement books. When, in reality, a lot of successful people have a huge library of self-improvement books. It's a matter of being the best you that you can be. Why wait until it hurts to do something about it?

Millions of people complain every day about how much they hate their job, their body, their living situations, etc. Day in and day out they do the same things and then scowl at the results. They never do anything to change it, because change is difficult. It's like voting. I hear tons of people that complain about our political situation, yet only 1/4 of us actually vote. One of the things I ask people when they are on a political rant is if they vote, 3/4 say 'No'. My response is 'If you're not going to participate in the system and try to do something to change it, don't complain.' Just like everything else in life, if you're not doing something to try to change what you dislike about your life, don't complain about it... you're the one making the choices.

Being that ideal vision you have of yourself takes hard work and lots of practice. You can't wake up one morning and decide you are going to run a marathon, 26.5 miles in a day is a LOT of running. You have to train, you have to practice, you have to come up with a fee for participating, you have to have the proper equipment. All this for one little marathon. Think about your personal goal. Break it down. Work on it a little every day. Practice the skills that you need to reach that goal.

Wealth, health and positive attitudes don't appear over night. It just doesn't. We have to step out of our comfort zone and reach for it. Sometimes we don't succeed the first time, but we must keep trying. Keep an open mind, don't listen to the nay-sayers. Don't sit there an let your life hurt you, get up and do something about it. We only have this one life, make it good.


Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com
http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz

Visualization and Action

I would visualize things coming to me. It would just make me feel better. Visualization works if you work hard. That's the thing. You can't just visualize and go eat a sandwich.
-Jim Carrey



When trying to change your life in any way, using positive affirmations is an incredibly useful tool. I know there are many people who have never heard of this concept so I'll start with a brief explanation:

Positive affirmations is a positive activity that you want to have happen. They are written as if they have already happened. Your affirmations should be read at least once a day, though twice is twice as good. They are especially effective if red before going to bed and again when you first wake up. Mine are written in a card that I carry around with me everywhere. Here are some examples of affirmations for different situations:

For losing weight: I am 130 lb. I am a healthy, fit, energetic person.

For quitting smoking: I am smoke-free. I am breathing better.

For school: I am a college graduate. I am passing all my tests.

For business: I am attracting the right customers to my business. I am attracting wealth in abundance.

If you have any questions about your affirmations, or would like some assistance, you can always contact me and I will be glad to help.

Affirmations must be used in combination with activities to assist in reaching your goals. You cannot repeat 100 times a day that you are going to be healthy and fit, then not exercise and eat fast food 3 times a day. Affirmations are there to push your subconscious mind into creating positive choices through your day.

Just like hypnotherapy and subliminal messaging, without a real drive and personal interest in making changes, affirmations cannot work by themselves. Your day should be punctuated by the positive choices you have made. Celebrate your success and the success of others. Many small steps will construct the journey of your life.

Success Corner: I want to congratulate Terry, Angie and Tammy for their recent positive choice to make a better life for themselves, both financially and health wise. They have done what a lot of people choose not to, they have committed to daily activities to grow a business and live healthy lives. Way to go!

Have a Blessed Day,


Brandy Deming



CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com
http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz

The Myth of Spare Time

We should use time as a tool, not a crutch.

-John F. Kennedy

How many times do we hear 'in your spare time' over the course of a month? Personally, I get sick of hearing it. 'You can build a business in your spare time.' 'Volunteer in your spare time.' 'What do you do in your spare time?' Spare time? When did we get 25 hours in a day? Did someone add in a Someday to the week? No, no they did not.


Trying to find that time you need to work out, spend time with your kids and/or build a business is a chore in and of itself. There is no way of 'creating' extra time. We only have 24 hours in a day and like most of our paychecks, it's spent before we even get there. So how do we make time?


You have to start by knowing how you spend your time. How much time do you spend doing your hair and putting on make-up in the morning? Picking out clothes? Checking email and following up with your friends on Facebook? There's a lot of little things we spend our time on. Try keeping a log of what you do. You can't really fix anything until you know what is wrong with it. Are there any repetitive tasks that you can group together, like checking your email at lunch so you don't have to spend 45 minutes on it when you get home? Are you waisting time looking at sales ads for things you don't need? Once you actually look at what you spend time on, you can start looking at where to find some. Here are a few tips on finding an extra hour or two in your week:


1. Books on Tape/MP3: Many of us have books to read for school, personal development or training. Many of these are available in audio format. Check the publisher's website or your school's library. It is often cheaper to record books onto audio then to have them printed in braille, so school's pay students to record the books. Listen to the recordings in the car or during your work out to save your reading time for other uses.


2. Many Hands Make Light Work: Is there anything that you can get help on? Give your kids a night that they have to cook, this can save you time and make them feel part of the family. See if your friends want to help on craft projects for the holidays. You can work on it together and get more done, plus you spend time together so there's some time back! Never be afraid to ask for help. Are you doing all the chores? Time to ask your partner to help with some, you shouldn't have to do it all yourself.


3. Hair, Make-Up and Clothes: Talk to a stylist. There are lots of ways to reconfigure your wardrobe so that everything goes together. A little bit of careful shopping at the beginning can save you that 20 minutes of "What am I going to wear today?!". A stylist can also help you simplify your make-up and hair-do. There is no need to go into a two hour hair and make-up session every day before work, do some research on different products and styles. Somewhere in the mix you can find one that can get you out the door in under 45 minutes.


4. Email and Social Networks: Set up filters for your not-quite-junk items. Everything from Facebook goes into it's own folder, Twitter another, Sale alerts in another. It is pretty simple to do, and then when you go to check your email, you don't have to sort through all that junk to see if someone really does need your attention. Same thing with your social networks. Almost all have lists that can be used to sort through which of your friends and family are sharing. By knowing where to go for the updates that you want to look at, you don't waste time on a lot of junk.


5. Games: I am a HUGE fan of games. I love them all. But I do get sucked into them. You start playing around and before you know it an hour and a half has gone by and you can't even remember why you booted up your computer to begin with. Try getting a timer next to your computer. Set a limit and stick to it. (30 min is usually pretty good)


I hope some or all of these can help you find an extra 5-10 hours in your week. We all get going at lighting speed, end up at the end of the day exhausted and not quite sure what we got done. A little bit of foresight, planning and some professional assistance can make the world of difference in how you spend your hours. Because unlike money, once time is spent, we really can't get it back.


Have a Blessed Day,


Brandy Deming


CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com
http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz

Perfection is Not Required

Artists who seek perfection in everything are those who cannot attain it in anything.

-Eugene Delacroix

A look into history you will find that our obsession with perfection is relatively new. Only in the last few centuries has the need for everything to be 'just right' really driven us. The only saying "cleanliness is next to Godliness" comes from centuries of not having running water, fire in the house and a complete void of disinfectants. And yet there were great successes.


Many times I have hesitated or even not completed a task because I thought that I wasn't doing it right or that the results weren't up to par. In sewing I have tossed entire projects because of faults that, looking back, I'm sure only I noticed. Hours of work and materials wasted, all for my need to make something look 'perfect'. Handiwork isn't the only area of our lives where our drive for perfection can distract us from progress.


I speak to a lot of people who are all or nothing. They refuse to make any forward progress because of a hundred different reasons why they can't do something. They are waiting until after the holidays to lose that weight. As soon as football seasons over they will put the time in to build that business. There is always a reason to delay, ways that the timing isn't perfect.


We discount trying. Just getting going and doing something is better then nothing at all. When trying to lose weight, small steps can lead to big results. I started by switching from regular coke to diet coke, then not ordering french fries with meals. Small bits that can be easily maintained and over time lead to a total overhaul of my lifestyle. The weight didn't fall off, but it stayed off. I'm not perfect, sometimes I have fried food, sometimes I have cake. I just consistently work on making good choices and in the end it pays off. It's not perfection, it's progress.


Same goes for a lot of our lives. No one does anything perfect the first time. In many philosophies there is no way to ever do anything perfectly. If there is anything you want to do, you should do it. Let nothing stand in your way. If you're doing it wrong, you'll learn. We learn more from doing something wrong then from doing it right the first time. Don't worry about perfection, keep your eye on success.




Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com
http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz

The General Joy and Rapture of At-Home Work

I have to say the best and worst thing about working at home is working at home. The daily ability to decide what I’m going to do, when I’m going to do it and how I’m going to do it has been the ultimate freedom that I have enjoyed over the last 5 years. Though there has been many, many days when I really wanted (and sometimes needed) someone to tell me what I needed to do, how to do it and when it needed to be done. This is the fun and frustration of being at home.


I don’t know about you or your life, but I can spend days on end just tending to my family and home. I can get up in the morning, get my son on the bus, go to the gym, tend to my chore list, run errands, fix meals, help with homework, spend a little quality time with my family and end my day feeling like I have worked 16 hours (because I just did!) and never, ever have one second to actually work on my business. I am continually amazed at parents that can keep a family and house in order on top of pulling off a 50 hour work week (they say it’s 40 hours, but we all know we’re ‘at work’ for at least 50). All I have to do to keep myself on track is to think of the commute, the boss and daycare, the trinity of office work nightmares.


One of the other bitter-sweet facts of working at home is that you are home, all the time. There is nothing I love more than being able to put my son on the bus to school and being there when he gets off the bus (other than the days we play hooky and have fun around town together). When he needs me, I am there. I don’t have to call into work, I don’t have to worry about being fired and no-school days don’t make me freak-out about where he’s going to go. On the other hand, I am always home. There are three words that come out of the mouths of friends and family that make me cringe… ‘Are you home?’ I’ve recently taken to saying, ‘Um, I’m at the office.’, this usually gets me at least 10 more minutes of calm before they call back with ‘I thought you worked at home?’. You get called on everything from going out to coffee, to volunteering at the school , to picking up prescriptions. They know your home, therefore you must certainly be available.


All in all, it is a really sweet deal. There days when I would love to pack up my laptop and go into an office where someone else buys the office supplies, takes out the trash and fixes the printer, but the days of sleeping in until 8, not having to ever get in the car and spending extra time with my family outweigh them 25-to-1. Working at home is not as easy as it seems, but can be done with a little organization, prioritizing and boundary setting.




Have a Blessed Day,


Brandy Deming


CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com
http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz

Loving Yourself or Abusing Yourself?

Self-love is not opposed to the love of other people. You cannot really love yourself and do yourself a favor without doing people a favor, and vise versa.

-Dr. Karl A. Menninger

Our biggest critic is ourselves. We are taught to try to be perfect, to get everything 'just so', but do we really, really have to have everything together all the time? Too often we run ourselves ragged trying to live up to our perceived expectations and then when we don't meet them we beat ourselves up about it. We must start being happy with what we have done and not be so down on ourselves about what we haven't been able to do, or didn't do well.


Even our language can effect the way we feel about ourselves. If we fail to meet a goal, or stumble off our path we say that we failed. We did not fail, we just didn't quite succeed. We need to brush ourselves off, reassess the situation and move forward. Be proud that we tried. I was in Pilates class yesterday with about 10 other women and the instructor said a wonderful thing, "Don't worry if you cannot complete the moves this time, you are here, that's what counts. You are now better then everyone else out there who isn't even trying."


What a great way to think about life!


If you are trying to build a business and you didn't achieve your goal. Don't worry. At least you are trying. Think about the millions of people out there who are grinding away at a dead end job every day, making no progress at all. You are at least trying. And the more you try, the more you'll succeed. Maybe other people haven't had set-backs in their business, but at least you took the initiative and started your own business! Celebrate your courage and determination, not the parts that are less then successful.


Trying to loose weight is another doosey. If you feel you are falling behind on your health goals, don't worry, just keep at it! There are millions out there who constantly complain about needing to loose weight, but you are doing something about it! Feel fabulous that you are trying, because... the more you try, the more you'll succeed!


Let's see if we can add a little more self-love into our lives. Celebrate all the wonderful things we do. Dismiss those things that don't go right. Get back up and try again... and again! Life is a journey, not a destination.



Have a Blessed Day,


Brandy Deming

CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com
http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz

Accepting Life. No returns, no refunds.

Each one of us is given a life. That life is like a block of wood waiting to be carved. Everything that happens, good and bad, takes a small shaving off. We don't know what we end up with, but must accept the shape that it takes.

-Me

When things go terribly, horribly wrong in our lives, we have a habit of asking "Why me?". Knowing that we didn't deserve something this bad to happen. We've done good, we volunteer, we help our neighbors, pay our taxes, so why do bad things happen to good people?

The shaping of character comes from not only the good things in life, but also the bad. But I only know of a hand full of people that will stop when everything is well and ask "Why me?". There's a lot more people out there who only find faith, hope and strength in times of need. Only when in a desperate hour to they call on friends and family. We tend to ignore life when it is good and curse it when it is bad. This all occurred to me about 3 weeks ago listening to the Travis Smiley (i think) show on NPR. I just caught a few moments of it, he had said "At the end of each and every day, we must ask ourselves 'What's the lessin and what's the blessin?'." The 'each day' struck me.

I realized that I had become really good at looking at the not-so-great moments of my life and picking the positive out, then moving on. Finding that diamond in a dung hill and letting the other crap go. But what about my good days? Was I seeking out positive reinforcement on those days? Was I reading my motivational books then? Not really. I was waiting until things started to go awry until I sought out an uplifting message.

This all reverted me back to Deep Practice. We must be thankful at the end of each day. Good and bad. We must practice on our good days to be thankful so that on our bad days it comes to us easier. We need to stop looking to the Heaven's asking "Why me?". We need to look to the Heaven's and say "Thank You." and then look within and say "Why not me?"

When the truly tragic happens, would you be willing to push all that sorrow onto someone else? Would you be willing to crush a complete stranger's life to make your's easier? I thought about these questions for a long, long time. And I say No. Even though I would love to have my friends, family and loved ones back. I would not give up the hurt and sorrow that filled me when they passed. It shaped me. Everything I have ever done has shaped me, and if I gave or pushed out any of the good or the bad things that had happened I wouldn't be me. And that would be a tragedy in and of itself.

Enjoy life, enjoy each other. Accept what you have been given, be thank full for the good and the bad. We should not presume to know what life lessons are in store for us, or how they will shape them. Just know that one step at a time, one breath at a time, we get through this life, together.

Have a Blessed Day,


Brandy Deming

CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com

http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz

Deep Practice

To be able under all circumstances to practice five things constitutes perfect virtue; these five things are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness and kindness.

-Confucius (551BC - 479BC)

Out of every class or book we read, no matter how bad, we can find one or two gems of information and/or wisdom. No matter who we talk to there is always something new we can learn from them . One of my favorites for the week is the term 'Deep Practice'. Here in the West if we know the basics of how to do something, we know it. In the East, we don't know something until we know how to do it right. With Eastern Philosophy we would spend lots of time doing the same task over and over again, just to say we know how to do it. This is what Deep Practice refers to.


We too often think of things to practice as physical acts. We practice our music, sports and crafts. But how often do we practice ways of thinking or reacting? Positive thought and positive actions cannot just be something we idly strive towards or tentatively know. We must practice them day in and day out until it becomes part of us. Deep Practice.


You can set up goals for your new positive mindset. Try going an hour without saying or thinking anything negative about anyone else or yourself. Make it to and from a destination without insulting a fellow driver. Set aside time each day to re-affirm the positive things about yourself. You must set aside time to practice your positive lifestyle. The more you practice, the better you will be.


Same goes for your small business. We aren't born with the ability to talk or walk, we practice. So why do so many think that the second we sign up for a home business we become great entrepreneurs. We have to practice it. We must practice our pitch, we must review and learn about our products, we must learn how to approach people, how to set up our demo, etc, etc. Most people have a curve of 6m -12m. A curve being the amount of time it takes you to become proficient in your business. Expect poor results the first 6 months, better results after the first 12 and then you should hit your stride in your 2nd year. This is true about all businesses. Home based and brick and mortar. Expect to loose money your first 2 years. Anything better then that and you ROCK!


Listen to your mother, "Practice makes perfect". Use it for your whole life. Loosing weight, being a good friend, positive thinking and work. The more you work on improving yourself the better you will be.



Have a Blessed Day,


Brandy Deming
CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com

http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz

K.I.S.S.

You don't need to outdo the competition. It's expensive and defensive. Underdo your competition. We need more simplicity and clarity.

-Jason Fried

We all tend to over-complicate our lives. Even taking a shower can be a complex string of choices and options. Do I scrub, wash or exfoliate? Is my hair in need of volume, shine or deep cleansing? Does my skin need more moisture or anti-aging? And that's just the first 15 minutes of our day. Everything has become a complicated with so many options, it can make your head spin.


We need to be less harsh on ourselves and simplify. There is no way of turning back the clock to simpler times, so we must cope with what we have. By simplifying and changing the way we react to stress, our lives can become more livable.


Over-Committed. I find myself in this situation more often then not. We must learn to say No. Do one project at a time. If you haven't finished that basket for the fundraiser on Friday, don't agree to have another one ready by Monday (unless baskets is your business and then go for it!). When your trying to find time to squeeze in a hike for a Scout group, don't agree to host a party the same week. We want to be helpful, make people happy, but too often we sacrifice our happiness for the good of others. Try what you can to do one thing at a time, you'll thank yourself later.


Under-Paid. We often don't get paid what we are worth. We get stuck in a job that we can stand, but as the cost of living goes up, our pay doesn't. And when we actually do get a raise, it's never quite enough. There are several ways to try and cope with this. Don't be afraid to ask for a raise. There has been plenty of times when someone is complaining how they haven't had a raise in years, but never asked. Leave your options open. Don't accept that just because things have always been one way, they will always be that way. Do a search every couple of months to see what else is out there. And if there is an opening for what you do and the pay is higher, go for it. Turn your hobbies into money. There are lots of services that people are willing to pay for. If you quilt, start letting people know that you teach classes, or create patterns to sell online. Work on cars? A little back yard wrench slinging can pull in some cash. Like books? There are ample opportunities to buy and resell books. Two for one, you get to shop then you get to sell!


Not Appreciated. We don't get thanked for a lot of things we do. Start patting your own back! make sure you take time each week to award yourself for all that you do!


Over-Worked. Business owners and the working person both have this problem. We want to get more done then our competitors, make sure we get that raise. So we add more hours to our work week. We need to work effectively and we can't be effective if we are run down. We skip our breaks, lunch and then stay an hour or two later. Even if you feel that you get more done in that extra hour then you've gotten done all day, chances are you'd get more done within that 8 hours if you had some time during the day to refresh yourself. Take a break. 15 minutes of stretching or a brisk walk not only will help you feel energized, but will add a better boost to your day then an extra espresso. Quit at quitting time. At least twice a week, stop working when you are supposed to. That extra hour or two will add much more ease to your life and boost your work then the little extra money you would have earned working late.


Just take a look at all you are doing, be proud of what you accomplish. Take time for you and your family to increase your relaxation and inner happiness. See what you can cut out of your life if you are over-committed. Above all, don't take any of it too seriously, life is temporary after all!



Have a Blessed Day,


Brandy Deming
CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com

http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz

ch-ch-ch-choices

The first step to getting the tings you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.

-Ben Stein

Everyday we make hundreds of decisions. Some we are so well trained to do, we don't really think about them. We choose to get out of bed, eat breakfast, go to work, what we wear, what route to take, etc., etc, etc.


Some will say, 'But you don't choose to eat, you have to eat.' not true. You don't have to eat, ask Ghandi. But if you don't eat, you die. So congratulations, you chose life! On a less dramatic scale you do get to choose what to eat. You can have a hamburger, or you can have a chicken burger. We have to rethink how we think to make changes and changes start with choices.


If you are one of the millions of people who have found themselves let-go from your place of work and are reading this. I know you are thinking that you didn't choose to get fired or laid off. Using our ability to choose is a way to react to other people's choices as well. You don't have a job, that is a fact, you cannot make your boss change their mind, so move on. You can choose to sit around and feel sorry for yourself. You can go out and apply for a few jobs a day and that's that. OR you can make active choices to regain employment. OR start your own business. We all have a skill set. Big or small. They can all be used to our advantage or disadvantage. You can clean? Send out and email and call around to see if anyone needs help cleaning their house or garage. It may not be much money, but money is money. Use your skills to earn extra $$$ while waiting for a job to come along. Doing something is better then doing nothing.


For those who are looking for a job, here are some tips:


*Keep a written record of where you have applied
*Make sure you keep track of who you've contacted at potential employers
*Follow up at least once a week, by phone, on those applications
*Make sure you know the name of who will make the decision to hire you
*Be well informed about the company going into your interview
*Try to get information on who is interviewing you (google them)
*Follow up with a Thank You Card or Handwritten Note
*Follow up by phone once a week until you get a yes or no answer
*Repeat as often as you can until you get a job.


For those who are sick of looking for a job and want long term security:


*Call or email me, I can help you find or build a business that will put YOU in charge.


Just remember today that life is all about choices. You can choose life, love, healthiness and happiness. We choose how to react to situations. We choose what to put into our bodies. We choose to spend time with our family. Use your choices wisely.




Have a Blessed Day,


Brandy Deming

CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com
http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz

Loosing Weight

Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.

-Reggie Leach

In the last year I've gone from 225 to 175 (now back up to 185, stupid not smoking). That's not hype or photo-shopped pictures. That's 12 months of eating light yogurt instead of ice cream, working out instead of going to the movies, being sore and really enjoying working towards a goal.


We are bombarded day in and day out with the possibilities of miracles. Are we living in a magical new world? Can money and a few pills solve our problems? Are there more miracles today, or are we just broadcasting them more? All good questions to ask. I believe in miracles, absolutely. I believe in faith, love and human determination. All this helped push me through that 50 pounds and will continue pushing me through the next 25.


I have listened to a lot of people tell me that they've tried everything to loose weight... then proceeded to tell me that they ate the double whopper at Burger King (but held the cheese!). There are many, many factors in loosing weight, and not every program works for everyone. I chose simple. Diet and exercise. I watch my portions, eat WLF (whole grain, lean meats and fresh foods) and work out like a maniac (4-7x a week between 20min-2hrs). Not everyone can afford the money and time it takes to do this, but you can implement some changes.


Try the +10 a week. Start with 10 push ups, sit ups, dips, jumping jacks, squats, lunges and planks (all three hold for 10 seconds). Then the next week add 10, 20 push ups, sit ups, dips, etc. Do them M-W-F right before your shower, then add in a Tues. or a Saturday. Pretty soon you'll be doing it everyday. Promise yourself that whatever changes you want to commit for a year. If at 2 months, 6 months, 8 months you're not 'feeling' it, keep going. Take a photo of yourself today then look at another one (in the same clothes) in a year. You'll see a difference if you commit to yourself!


This way of acting and committing works for all aspects of life. If you commit a little bit of time every day to reaching a goal, you will. But it's not easy, it's not fast and it's not painless. Everything worth having is worth working for. Commit to YOU!


If you need a personal coach at an affordable rate, let me know. I can direct you to a few, just drop me an email.



Have a Blessed Day,


Brandy Deming


CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com
http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings

http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz

Shooda, Cooda, Wooda Sisters

Acceptance doesn't mean that you have to agree with something and like how it is. Acceptance simply means that you accept how it is and make peace with it.

-Mike Robbins

I'm not exactly sure when I heard the story, but it has stuck with me for years and held true... DON'T SPEND TIME WITH THE SHOODA, COODA, WOODA SISTERS!!

The Shooda sister always should have done something. I should have left five minutes earlier, I wouldn't have gotten stuck in traffic [you may have missed traffic but you may have ended up in the accident also]. .I should have called Mary first, then she wouldn't have signed up with Ken. [when we don't want to do something, and it turned out to be the right thing, we can be too hard on ourselves] I should get up earlier to get a head start on the day [don't just say you're going to do something, do it] Shooda constantly focuses in on what she 'should have' done instead of what she can and is doing. She is poor company.

The Cooda sister always could have done something. I could have taken I-90 and saved myself the hour wait [but you didn't and waisted an hour whining about it]. I could have done a better report, then I would have that raise [but you sped through yours to get of work an hour early to see your kids play]. I could have made that call, but I didn't want to get stuck on the phone while I was making dinner [excuses!] . Cooda constantly focuses on what she 'could have' done making excuses and beating herself up about her priorities. Being in her company makes you feel guilty.

The Wooda sister always would have done something, her stars never quite align right. I would have taken I-5, but it looked too crowded. [looks can be deceiving] I would have stayed late to finish it, but I didn't think the boss would be in early. [it's only cheating if you get caught?] I would have called Suzy, if I had known that she was looking for a home based business [never know until you ask]. Wooda constantly sees a better way that she 'would have' done something if something else wasn't there, if something else wasn't going on, if there was something she would have known. Too much hanging with Wooda and you may be upset or depressed, but at least it won't ever be your fault.

We have all spent at least a little bit of time (some of us a lot of time) with one or all three of the sisters. We need to not beat ourselves up, make excuses for or deflect the reasons why we make the choices we make. If something is not working, take a closer look at what you did, and do it better next time.

Accept that what has happened, happened. Accept that you had a part (big or small) in the events that happened. Identify what created the good results (or the bad). Learn from them, repeat the good, change the bad. AND MOVE FORWARD!

Only dedicate a small part of your day to this, maybe 15-30 minutes at the end of your day. Focus on the good things that happened, not the bad. And know that tomorrow you'll add another tool to your mental toolbox for positive results!

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com

http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings

http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz

Listening

"Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb."

-Sir Winston Churchill

This wonderful thought occurred to me yesterday. We tend to see ourselves and others as either a success or failure. We accomplish or fail. There is this whole entire grey area between failure and success that we call life. We should find a different yard stick to measure ourselves by. Lets put aside bank accounts, cars and clothes. Lets look at our lives, that grey area. Are you happy? Are those around you happy? Do you have that special someone? Do you have friends? How's your extended family? Think about it. Give yourself a pat on the back if you had a positive answer and reaction to all the questions... heck... if you have 3 out of 5 you're doing good.

The point is not that we don't need money and the like to be successful, the point is that the small efforts we make to ensure personal, family and relationships succeed are the same set of skills used to be a success in business. If you know how to listen, when to have which emotional reaction, can give advise when needed and are pleasant to be around, more people will flock to you and your business.

Lets take listening as an example, verbal and non-verbal. When your wife [or husband] is telling you how their day went, do you smile and nod or listen? If you can't actually remember how your significant other's day went yesterday, you were just going along with the conversation, and not really listening. Mind what they are saying, try to take mental notes [write them down when you are done if you tend to forget things easily] look at how they are standing, keep eye contact. Does it look like there is something else they want to say? Do they look like they want a response from you? Are the just venting? Now, the next day try and recall how their day was. Check your notes. Try doing this activity 2-5 times a week. If you don't have a significant other, try it with a friend or roommate.

How does this pertain to business? Listen, listen, LISTEN!! To co-workers, management, clients, bartenders, whomever. You never know when your next jewel of information will come to you. For example, with Send Out Cards, I use the Internet to send a physical card through the postal service, with a first class stamp. Did you know that the postal service was going to cut back a day of delivery because of lack of mail? [not a joke or plug http://kuow.org/program.php?id=1646 ] I now feel that sending cards is patriotic. I want to support my postal service. How did I learn about this spin to my business? Listening to a conversation in line at Albertsons.

Listening will also get you more customers. I know people who will drive an extra 45 minutes to go to a dentist because they see him as a part of their extended family. And how does he do it? He has trained himself and all the staff to take notes of the small talk that they have (names of dogs, ages of children, painting the house, buying a new car, etc.). Then the next time they come in, or when he send them their birthday card, he can add in a personal note ie. How is the new puppy? I hope your enjoying the new car! How was Cindy's 9th birthday? Amazing! How to stay above the game!

Try and remember to listen and pay attention to your loved ones. A truly loving, compassionate companion is not only a hit with their family and friends. But the positive energy and uplift you'll start radiating will attract others to you creating a influx of customers.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

CelticBlessings4u@Gmail.com

http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz

Getting Back Up

"If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. what we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down."

-Mary Pickford

It seems as though when we have a goal, that we go sprinting towards it. The freshness and all the ideas of how to reach that goal keeps our momentum at a lightening pace. But, inevitably, something does not work. Something creates a speed bump in the road and we have to slow down. Money, people, timing, location, materials, it is always something. The road to success is littered in failure. Tons of it. Little failures and big failures. Thomas Edison found hundreds (if not thousands) of ways to not create a light bulb ... and one way to make a light bulb. Where would we be if one of those hundreds of bumps of failure on Thomas Edison's path to success had been the one that made him stay down? The one that made him throw his hands up in the air and be done with the whole project?

Everyone struggles towards success, it is part of life. I have found many ways not to do things. I have found dozens of ways to not loose weight, 6 ways to not quit smoking, 1 way to not stay married, several ways to not be a good parent, 8 ways to not make money, many ways to be a bad friend and I could keep going. But I went past a lot of those failures... I push through a lot of current failures, to find what works. Wade through disaster to the hill of success. I found a way to loose weight (50lb so far), I found a way to quit smoking (2 weeks now!), I work constantly at being a good mom, friend and daughter.

We all must accept the fact that we will fall, and that those around us will fall. We must focus on picking ourselves up, being a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen so that we can help others up as well. Every day IS a new day. Cling onto hope and determination as your spiritual life preservers. And never, ever, ever stop dreaming.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings

http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz

Choice and Chance

Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.

-William Jennings Bryan

Hope springs eternal. Very true. It is easier to hold onto your hope when your dreams and decisions are free to roam. Allowing yourself full freedom accepting choices and a dash of chance will help your hope bloom.

Imagine taking full responsibility for your life. The good and the bad. "I am where I am because of the choices I have made." Fully in charge of your life. A great thing to repeat to yourself over and over again to help improve your future: "I am making positive and productive choices in my life" The action plan to join with the positive affirmation is to try and make choices for the better. And it is not always easy, 'the path to hell is paved with good intentions' comes to mind. Sometimes making the best choice isn't the easiest choice.

Let me introduce you to a friend of mine. She can be incredibly independent, self-sufficient and an inspiration. BUT... not when it comes to her choice in partners. Jumping from one to another, getting increasingly upset as the relationships fail. Putting all of her hope in to one person, and inevitably that person fails at their quest to make her whole. Now we have talked about how no one can make her whole [just as no one can make me whole or make you whole], that you must feel complete inside before a relationship, otherwise you either expect too much of that person, or start projecting your emptiness onto them. A lot of our conversations ended up with her saying a lot of "I can't..." "I can't..." "I can't..." and "Why does this always happen to me?" After many conversations I had to tell her that I love her. I love her enough to do what's right for her, and not help her. No more walking her through her own life, no more helping hands, no more sympathy for her own choices. That I love her enough to make her do this on her own, because she needs to. Now this story has not come to an end. Each of us comes to our own in our own time.

You have the freedom to take control of your life, to make choices on how you react to situations, how you react to people and how you handle difficulties. No one can make you do anything, but sometimes the hardest part is making yourself do something. And we all falter sometimes. The key is to pick yourself up and try again. And again.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz

Give it away!

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
-Dale Carnegie


Ever needed that shoulder to cry on or just a good hug? Someone to give you an uplifting word? I have. Every body has. Sometimes we get it, sometimes we don't. There is a secret for it always to be there for you.... give it to someone.

In friendships, relationships and business, it is often easier to accomplish what you want done by helping someone else do what they need to do. Letting friends know they can call you at any time if they need to talk, giving that extra little bit to let them know that you appreciate them, all comes back to you eventually. When you need them, they will be there, as long as what you are doing for them is out of kindness, not because you have a big move coming up and you need help.

Go that extra mile in relationships too. Stop and pick some flowers (or buy them) for no reason at all. Surprise her (or him) with night out. Right them a poem. Plan a picnic in the park. And let them know how much you care.

In business, always try to improve your customer service and your service to the community. People love shopping someplace when they know it does someone else good. The lovely woman who owns the BBQ Pit in Mt. Vernon feeds hungry and homeless people once a week. Do you think I eat there? Every chance I get, the food is great and I know that by supporting this business I support our community. You can designate a certain percentage of sales to a charity, or open your place up for fundraisers, offer your services at a discount to non-profits. And let everyone know that you are doing this. You'll see people more often coming in to support you and your cause.

There is lots of good you can do in the world as a friend, spouse and business owner, do it. Do as much good as you possibly can. Get interested in other peoples causes and other peoples lives. By taking the focus off of your woes and your current issues, focus on someone else or a charity. You'll meet tons of new people that way and know that at the end of the day, you've made a difference in someones life.


Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming

CelticBlessings4U@Gmail.com
http://www.womenswealthandwellness.com/celticblessings
http://www.twitter.com/brandysbiz