July 7, 2009
Shooda, Cooda, Wooda Sisters
Acceptance doesn't mean that you have to agree with something and like how it is. Acceptance simply means that you accept how it is and make peace with it.
I'm not exactly sure when I heard the story, but it has stuck with me for years and held true... DON'T SPEND TIME WITH THE SHOODA, COODA, WOODA SISTERS!!
The Shooda sister always should have done something. I should have left five minutes earlier, I wouldn't have gotten stuck in traffic [you may have missed traffic but you may have ended up in the accident also]. .I should have called Mary first, then she wouldn't have signed up with Ken. [when we don't want to do something, and it turned out to be the right thing, we can be too hard on ourselves] I should get up earlier to get a head start on the day [don't just say you're going to do something, do it] Shooda constantly focuses in on what she 'should have' done instead of what she can and is doing. She is poor company.
The Cooda sister always could have done something. I could have taken I-90 and saved myself the hour wait [but you didn't and waisted an hour whining about it]. I could have done a better report, then I would have that raise [but you sped through yours to get of work an hour early to see your kids play]. I could have made that call, but I didn't want to get stuck on the phone while I was making dinner [excuses!] . Cooda constantly focuses on what she 'could have' done making excuses and beating herself up about her priorities. Being in her company makes you feel guilty.
The Wooda sister always would have done something, her stars never quite align right. I would have taken I-5, but it looked too crowded. [looks can be deceiving] I would have stayed late to finish it, but I didn't think the boss would be in early. [it's only cheating if you get caught?] I would have called Suzy, if I had known that she was looking for a home based business [never know until you ask]. Wooda constantly sees a better way that she 'would have' done something if something else wasn't there, if something else wasn't going on, if there was something she would have known. Too much hanging with Wooda and you may be upset or depressed, but at least it won't ever be your fault.
We have all spent at least a little bit of time (some of us a lot of time) with one or all three of the sisters. We need to not beat ourselves up, make excuses for or deflect the reasons why we make the choices we make. If something is not working, take a closer look at what you did, and do it better next time.
Accept that what has happened, happened. Accept that you had a part (big or small) in the events that happened. Identify what created the good results (or the bad). Learn from them, repeat the good, change the bad. AND MOVE FORWARD!
Only dedicate a small part of your day to this, maybe 15-30 minutes at the end of your day. Focus on the good things that happened, not the bad. And know that tomorrow you'll add another tool to your mental toolbox for positive results!
Have a Blessed Day,