June 18, 2009

Being There

"Effective listening tip: Engage with the person. Ask questions and make comments."

-Mike Robbins

Too often we spend conversations trying to think of something relevant to say, some story of ours that is similar to the story the other person is saying. Concentrating the whole time the other person is talking on what we want to say next. We lose focus on what they are saying and focus on the 'What do I say?'. A great habit to develop is really listen to what that person is saying, think of a question to go into detail, a positive reflective comment. Engage that person, try not to reflect on how to put yourself in the conversation. When you put them first, the conversation will come back around to you. Engage.

Engage in life. Participate, when you go to a class or seminar, engage. Ask questions. Go out of your way to compliment the speaker and those who stood up to speak. It is a difficult thing to get up in front of people and share yourself, let them know how much you appreciate them engaging. When a child has participated in a school play or concert (or anything for that matter) let them know how great it is that they went a step above being there to engaging in the activity. Engaging in a verbal or emotional sense is the non-physical, don't just stand there... do something!

The same thing can be applied to exercise. You hear it in videos all the time 'Engage those abs'. But a lot of folks don't exactly know what they are talking about. A simple exercise to be able to first single out muscles and then engage them is a Tense and Relax. Start with your hands, curl them into balls and then relax, then your forearm muscles, biceps and triceps, shoulders, back etc. Once you do this once a day for a couple of days you'll be able to isolate that particular muscle group. Now when you are working out and you are told to engage that muscle. Tighten it as you are doing the exercise.... that is engaging. I love to engage muscles in everyday activities. I'll engage my abs when driving. Or engage my calves when typing. Little add ons that can add a bit of toning over the long run.

Have a Blessed Day,

Brandy Deming


No comments:

Post a Comment